New Road
by Scfilover
Summary: AU: Recovering from Dooku's betrayal at Boz Pity Asajj Ventress strives to rebuild herself and Rattatak. She doesn't know her interactions with Obi-Wan, Anakin and the order are far from over. Begins a few months before Revenge of the Sith.
1. Chapter 1: Return

I don't own _Star Wars_ I'm just playing in the sandbox.

Return

She had survived Dooku's betrayal and healed from the modifications and injuries it had gotten her. She had returned back to Rattatak, her home world, free of both the Sith and the Jedi. _I want to hear nothing of either of them_, she thought, as she stood on her home and looked across the horizon. _The Jedi betrayed my master by leave him to die alone and without apology. The Sith used me as nothing but a tool and discarded me because Sidious wants that lunatic Skywalker. I don't know what my future with the force holds but it seems light and dark are not so different as they pride themselves on being. _She turned from her thoughts back to her home world and frowned. _I have done so much- killed that creature who took my master and my parents from me and united my world under one banner. Finally Rattatak has broken away from war, but it is scarred. So much damage still remains to be repaired. All around me is pollution and ruins. It needs to be fixed. We must work alone, for if anyone knows the corruption which lies in trusting others it is I. _

"My lady, what are your orders?" One of her staff asked. Asajj felt approval. _He is brave. I have not been in the best of moods. For days my people have awaited what I have next for them- too reverent and afraid to break my silence._ She turned to her second.

"My focus was abroad when it should have been here. Gather the others. We have much work to do."

He bowed and left her. Now that she was committed to a new focus Asajj was impatient. When she heard the news her subordinates had been gathered she swept into her meeting room.

"The outside galaxy is not worth my time. Rattatak is."

"My lady you left us for vengeance. How went it?"

Asajj knew a probing for weakness when she heard it. She had returned alone and thoughtful. She had not come back oozing triumph or piles of lightsabers._ How went it? I was used and betrayed my master. I have contempt for the Sith's treachery and the Jedi's falseness to their vaunted ideals, but I must remember I am not pure either. Ky wouldn't have wanted me to do the things I have done. Later. I will not give this mynock what he craves. _

"It was successful. I made the Jedi curse my name as I cursed theirs."

_Was it worth it? Despite Dooku's betrayal it should be worth it. Somehow it feels pointless. Enough! _

"My vengeance left you without my guidance. I have a new battle for you."

She could feel their bloodlust at that statement. Once upon a time she would have shared it, but not now. She was embarrassed to find her mind wandering again and strictly kept things on course.

"Our world is ravaged. Our battle is to heal it from war."

This did not sate their feelings, or bring her support. She hadn't expected it to. She slammed her fist on the table.

"There are other battles besides those with weapons. We can make our world into more than what we have. We will focus our energies on _that_, and anyone who feels otherwise can challenge me right now."

Now the fire was back in her blood but it was different. It wasn't bloodlust but something different. Who thought words, or any kind of battle besides that with a lightsaber, could fill her with energy this way?

The warlords correctly read that, whatever had happened, she was not weak. Satisfied, Asajj Ventress, ruler of Rattatak and nothing else, went on with her plans.

_Obi-Wan held her even though she had just tried to kill him. His eyes were not filled with the pity she had seen before. Instead there was a pain which both soothed her somehow and also pierced her. When tears filled his eyes, Asajj continued to feel both soothed and hurt. Obi-Wan had not behaved as she thought Jedi did, and she had hated him for it. She had pushed him so hard to fit that mold and he had refused. Respect for that, and awareness of his pain made her touch his jawline and tell him to watch Coruscant. Then she had fell into as deep a trance as she had ever done. She couldn't trust anyone- could she trust him-and maybe the trance wouldn't work it had been so long since she'd used the light. Darkness left her, except for some guilt at how Obi-Wan's eyes had turned a shade of grey she'd never seen before. _

Asajj tore out of sleep, haunted by those grey eyes. _His eyes are supposed to be blue. How can anyone feel so much pain their eyes change? And over someone who has tortured and tried to kill them and those they hold dear? Obi-Wan, no Kenobi he is NOT to be anything to me, is a-_

Another wave of agitation struck her as she couldn't complete the thought. Asajj muttered and went outside. _Why can't I stop thinking about Kenobi? Why does his pain stay with me? Why can't I categorize it as sentimental nonsense and forget it and him? At least I only think sentimental nonsense during my dreams now. It will pass like the ones I had of my parents and my master…why I am putting Kenobi in the same category as them? _

_He cared for me. They are the only ones who ever have. My parents, rest knowing Rattatak will be healed. My master, Ky, I am sorry for causing you pain and betraying your teachings. I still…dislike the Jedi, but the warping effects of vengeance are stronger than the satisfaction of the feeling. _She touched the scars of where the implants Dooku had burdened her had been. They were healing, and she swore to never be as stupid again. _Kenobi thought I died in the light. He had no reason to care beyond that, so I am not beholden to him. _

That statement was relevant and pushed away her sentiment mostly. Some of it remained because she wondered what it would be like to have him here with her. _What would you think of my battles of words Negotiator? Would it amuse you? Or would you lecture me as you do your severely wayward padawan? How did you end up with him? He is not worthy of you- then again I was not worthy of Ky. Sympathy for Skywalker? These thoughts need to stop! _

Annoyed enough to squash her disturbing thoughts she stomped back to her bed, took in a deep breath and pulled her covers back up. Before going to sleep, though, she wondered where Kenobi and the aforementioned padawan were. _Don't do anything stupid now that you no longer have me to keep you sharp, or I will be severely disappointed. You must be fine or I would have felt something…_the force whispered Kenobi was alright, though worried about his padawan- Asajj would not call Skywalker a Jedi knight. Chiding herself for being reassured and _not_ wanting to know why she could find Kenobi so easily she went to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2: Traveling

Don't own _Star Wars_.

Traveling

As much as Asajj wanted to keep Rattatak, and herself, safe from needing anyone she knew some contacts would have to be made. _I must minimize them. Rattatak is mostly unknown and seen as unvalued where it is. Any offworlder who has come here has seen nothing but a bog, a cesspit, and worse. They don't know of the valuable minerals it has and they will not learn. My people have been too busy fighting each other to use the value which lies here. Rattatak needs some off world supplies and I will procure them. _

She resisted the temptation to scratch at the wig on her head. _To keep Rattatak anonymous I must be unknown. Despite being listed as dead my face would still cause a stir. I cannot allow that to happen. Rattatak must be protected from the Republic's corruption and the Sith's self-serving way. _

She went over her mental list of the supplies she was searching for. _Agricultural supplies to help heal our world's soil and medical supplies for the people and animals. _

Her preparations completed she left Rattatak and went to see what she could gain from the outside.

Nar Shaddaa. _What a hive of scum and villainy. Sounds like something Kenobi would say. Why can't I get that cursed Jedi out of my mind? Maybe because I haven't gotten a good fight, the kind using weapons, since our last battle. Our last real battle. That…mess which occurred when I came out of the bacta tank does not count. _

Asajj accessed the light side of the force. Despite the recent practice she had had on Rattatak it was still difficult. An uncomfortable part of her admitted that sentimentality came into play. _My master, Ky, taught me how to use the light side on Rattatak. I used the dark side there after he died, but I can still remember the light and the good times. I can trust the light when I think of him, but outside where I only found and used darkness it is harder. The light side is also harder to use because it makes my mind wander like this. I try obliterating unproductive thoughts, especially the ones about Kenobi, and they come back like weeds! _

She kept her access to the light and let it guide her. _Here anything can be found for a price with no questions asked- as long as someone else doesn't pay for questions to be asked and other actions taken. I 'died' but I am sure the Jedi would still want to have some words with me-terminal ones. The Sith- I am useless to them but still a loose end. _

Asajj felt choked by anger at what had been done to her, and pushed it away. _Remember Ky. Remember what he said about anger. Act on it! _

She chided herself for focusing on anything but the here and now. She followed the force into a shop in a dark alley- _what shop doesn't fit that description on this benighted world-_and let the force guide her.

"I have …come across a shipment of minerals you will find interesting."

The shopkeeper gave her a doubtful look.

"You are the person to come to, so you may examine the only sample I have with me," she said as if doing them a favor. _Always appear contemptuous. Otherwise they will sense your need and betray you. _

The shopkeeper examined the mineral quickly.

"How much of this did you say you have?"

"A shipment."

"I need numbers."

"Tell me how much an ounce is worth."

The shopkeeper frowned at his probing failing. He grumbled a figure. Asajj merely looked at him as if such a low sum didn't even cause enough reaction for a reply. He sighed and lifted the figure. Analyzing him she nodded and set terms for an exchange. Once that was accepted she left the shop and circuitously went back to her ship. She sat down in the pilot's chair, looked at her surveillance cameras she had to view the bay her ship was in and accessed the force. _I don't need to have a bad feeling about this! I know this is dangerous. _She gritted her teeth and tried to meditate. She succeeded in using time but failed to find any peace. _I am afraid of nothing, but I do not like not knowing what is going on. Is this how Kenobi felt whenever I stalked him? _

Pursing her lips she reached for her lightsabers. Kenobi had left them with her when he had her loaded on the medical ship. _He was a true warrior. He left my weapons to follow me into death- a Rattatak tradition. Did he know that? For someone with the nickname of 'Negotiator' I would not be surprised if he did research. I always knew where I stood with him. None of the baiting Dooku loved to do. Kenobi spoke his mind or he fought. A warrior. _

Somehow thinking of him calmed her. _If I could stand against him then nothing from this moon can push me. Smuggler trash are nothing compared to a Jedi master in his prime. _

That last thought had tones of admiration which were not calming. Asajj left her ship, and her bothersome thoughts, for the rendezvous point. She had her world's minerals floating behind her on a repulsorlift. She waited impatiently and frowned.

_Why are they not here early as well? They should be casing this spot! I would sense them if they were here. _

There was no one here. Even if it was a trap she should sense someone here. _Unless…no._ Asajj's shoulders tensed. She prepared to leap backwards, her hands going for her lightsabers, as she gathered the force to her.

"Ventress I'm disappointed it took you this long. Is it the light side of the force or just you who is limited?"

Asajj felt her calm shatter like a piece of glass.

"Dooku," she hissed her link to the light side collapsing. By the time she brought it back her former mentor- he was never a master- slipped out of the shadows. She tightened her grip on her lightsabers.

"Why do you bother," she asked. She could see bounty hunter scum coming after her but Dooku himself? _I guess I was more valued than I thought. _

"You didn't come back to us, and you're using the light side- though without skill. Betrayal cannot be tolerated Ventress."

She wanted to rail at the hypocrisy of this coming from him, but felt the affect her emotions were having on her link to the force.

"I am not your pawn Dooku. Leave."

"We were thinking of razing your home world but that would take so much time and resources when giving you a horribly painful death would take much less of both. You will serve some use, at last, in death my dear."

Asajj felt her blood curdle. _Rattatak! My people are still recovering, but should I die it will unleash a force you will have a hard time suppressing. Every man, woman and child will die fighting you. My death would serve a purpose you do not understand. _She was still unsettled, despite her confidence, and realized why.

_Only one man-person-calls me 'my dear' in battle. That is not you. _

She gave Dooku a contemptuous look. He shrugged. "It would go easier for you if you didn't resist but sense was never your strong point," he sighed regretfully.

With that he attacked. Asajj lit her lightsabers knowing she would need both of them to even hold him off. They swirled in a dance which was only slightly more dangerous than their rare training sessions. _He never held back from hurting me. How could I have thought to compare him to Ky? A master should care for his student. _

She was holding her own but she was also growing tired. Dooku waved a hand and she crashed to the ground. As she pulled herself together he came at her. She barely managed to get back up and get some space. _This will be my death. The only question is how long I can avert it. _

"You have lasted longer than I thought you would. Come back to the dark side and you can regain your place."

Asajj laughed. "Place? What place? A wild nek to loose on Skywalker? The dark side is a lie and I was a fool to believe it. The light side may be abused by the Jedi, but at least it is honest."

She felt light fill her then and realized this was why Dooku had offered to take her back. _I am no longer in thrall to him. How embarrassing. _

"Then I regret we have nothing else to discuss."

Asajj was slammed into a wall so quickly she barely noticed it. She noticed the after effects- blurred vision and weakness. Her lightsabers had been ripped from her hands.

"On the light side you are even less of a challenge. You will die as ineffectually as you live," he said. Asajj met his eyes proudly. She would be no coward. She had delivered death. Now it was time to receive it. His lightsaber went for her-

Only to be intercepted by a blue blade so close to her that its brightness made her blink.

"I care to disagree Dooku. She was good enough that you didn't even sense me coming."

Dooku backtracked slightly.

"Obi-Wan. What a pleasant surprise. It has been too long."

"Or not long enough depending on your point of view."

"Where is your precious ex-padawan? You know you cannot face me alone."

Asajj looked at Obi-Wan Kenobi as he stood facing Dooku. He had managed to angle himself so he stood right in front of her. She had fought him enough times; however, to guess at the look of determination which must fill his face.

"Come, Obi-Wan, let us negotiate. I let you leave and in the process I spare the Republic the cost of a trial and execution. Surely the Negotiator must see what an advantageous offer I present."

"She's a Jedi Count. That makes her the Order's responsibility," Obi-Wan said calmly, "In addition, what makes you think I'm alone? If you can't sense Anakin coming then Ventress must have gotten some good blows in."

Asajj had pulled herself up during this exchange. _Kenobi. Why Kenobi? The force must hate me. Of all the people to see me weakened. Of all the people to owe! That is if Dooku doesn't kill him before Skywalker gets here. Usually Skywalker is the one making stupid moves like this. Dooku must not be the only one to have gotten a concussion today. I cannot let him die doing something as foolish as trying to save me. _

She held out her hands and her lightsabers flew into them. She wasn't sure what she was going to do but she petitioned the force to help her. To keep Dooku away from Obi-Wan long enough for Skywalker to get here and for that lunatic to actually be worthy of his title. She walked the force building in her. Dooku looked at her, sensing her intent and at Obi-Wan. Then his eyes narrowed.

"Rattatak might not be worth the time but you clearly are. Another time Ventress!"

Asajj watched him run. The force she had been building slipped away from her. Her head, which had momentary stopped pounding, filled with pain.

"Ventress? Asajj?"

Gentle hands touched her arm. She looked past the pain to Obi-Wan whose blue eyes were filled with worry. She opened her mouth to say something, but her mind wouldn't say what. Her body didn't feel like cooperating either as she toppled. Obi-Wan caught her. He wrapped one arm around her and carefully held her as she slid to the floor. His other hand softly touched her forehead. His eyes were gray again.

"Hold on."

Asajj suppressed a groan. _Why is it always him?_

"Don't give up now my dear," he said quietly.

Why was it comforting hearing that title coming from him? She tried to muse on this. Obi-Wan's exhortation aside her body decided it had had enough and she fell into blackness.


	3. Chapter 3: Transition

I still don't own _Star Wars_ ;).

Transition

She was wounded and she could hear voices.

"We have to get her in the bacta right away."

_Bacta! _Asajj fought, trying to claw back to consciousness. She reached for the force, but it was elusive. _Not again! _Memories of anger, pain and helpless filled her. Dooku's face. _Wait didn't I just fight Dooku and Obi-Wan…_

"She's going into some kind of shock we'll have to sedate-"

Asajj was calling for calm but it shattered at that.

"_It's alright Asajj. No one will harm you." _

Even now she'd know that cultured voice. Dooku was cultured too, but not like that.

"_Rest." _

A warm touch swept her brow. A suggestion called her to sleep. She decided to follow it.

_Obi-Wan._

Consciousness called because she recognized what she was encased in. She heard voices.

"Master, she's waking up again! I don't have any cause to like her, but what Dooku did to her was wrong! What I'm seeing-"

"Reach out to her Anakin I'm coming!"

Hearing Skywalker's name called her to consciousness faster. The dark side called to her and she tried to avoid it.

"_Calm down Ventress." _

Skywalker's mental voice was confirmation she wasn't back in her personal torture with Dooku. Asajj pushed towards consciousness.

"Master she won't listen to me."

"She is listening she's just disoriented."

"_You are in bacta but it's to help. Calm down and feel the force Asajj. I'm not lying to you." _

She opened her eyes with a wince. Obi-Wan stood separated from her by a filmy surface. She willed herself not to remember that she had seen him the last time she had been in bacta. _You are acting like a panicky child! In front of Skywalker! _

"_You still need to heal. I'll help you back into the healing trance." _

"_I am not a child I can do it on my own." _

"No gratitude! Master-"

"Enough Anakin!"

"_No one said you are Asajj. You went through a horrible experience. It's no weakness to get assistance after that."_

_He was so calm. Did he need help after I hurt him? _

"Yes he did!"

"Anakin!"

She could feel Obi-Wan's protectiveness of her and his irate feeling towards Skywalker. She also felt him reaching to wrap the force around her. It was…comforting but something had to be said even if he wouldn't ask for it.

"_I'm sorry." _

She wasn't sure which of them, Obi-Wan or Skywalker, she was saying it to as the force called her back into rest.

She wasn't in bacta anymore. Instead the starchness of a blue sheet rested against her face. She reached out to the force and it groggily responded.

"Asajj?"

Asajj suppressed a groan. _Obi-Wan has seen me at my utter worst- crazed and afraid. No more 'my dear' I'm probably just a project now. I'll have to win his respect back if the Jedi don't kill me first. _She braced herself and looked over in the direction of his voice.

She was in a medium sized room which was connected to a living room. The walls were a soothing grey. Obi-Wan sat in a chair with a concerned look in his eyes. Thankfully they weren't that worrisome shade of grey. They were his normal blue- which was regarding her with his typical awareness. She lifted a hand and found it wasn't chained to anything. She touched her head and then tried to sit up. Obi-Wan held out a hand but she managed alone.

"Where am I?"

"You're at the Jedi Temple. You were severely injured in that toss against the wall. I'm sorry I wasn't in time to spare you that."

"It wasn't your fight. You could have been killed."

"Getting into such conflicts is part of a Jedi's job description. Would you like something to eat?"

She glowered at him. "Why bother? I am to be interrogated or killed so why waste your time?"

_This is hopeless. My shipment of mineral is lost either to smugglers or to the Republic if Obi-Wan took my ship. I _erased_ Rattatak's coordinates and replaced them with others before leaving it so at least the secret of where the mineral came from is safe. My world is safe. _

"Are you worried about your ship and its cargo? I made sure it was brought back to the Temple with us."

"That shipment-"  
She shut her mouth. His nickname of Negotiator, a case for teasing when they were enemies and afterwards some admiration haunted her. _What should I say? _

"Are you trying to rebuild Rattatak? I'll make sure it gets home for you."

_He doesn't know the mineral came from, and wasn't going to, Rattatak. My planet's secret is safe. If word got out the Republic and the Separatists might bring the war to a world which has already been damaged enough. Rattatak will have to send someone else to trade- and may the force pick someone who can sell well enough to keep the mineral's origins a secret! _

"I would appreciate that," she said stiffly and looked away. _Who could do it though? I don't want Obi-Wan to hate me, his respect is disturbingly comforting, but I have to protect my world so escape is a must. _

"Asajj I don't want you to feel like a prisoner but there is no way the Council is going to let you leave."

_Time to be honest. I should have realized he'd read me. After all I could read him when he faced Dooku. Sad to redraw the battle lines but I have a world to defend. _

"I cannot be a Jedi prisoner. My people _need_ me! I must get back to them!"

"Asajj, listen to me for just a moment. You are in no condition to pull off an escape from here even if you aren't in a cell. Also consider what will happen if you leave. Dooku will have you killed long before you get back. Now that you are on the light side your force signature is a lot easier to find."

Asajj frowned. _I thought I was doing a good job keeping it hidden. No wonder Dooku found me then, and Obi-Wan as well. _

"You shouldn't be ashamed- only those who know you can find you and that corresponding on how much experience they have with you. Anakin could feel you once he got to Nar Shaddaa while I felt you from a system away."

She frowned, seeing a hole in this explanation.

"I am not that powerful in the force."

Obi-Wan's eyes flashed quickly with what might have been embarrassment before he said,

"One can sense you that far if they are looking for you."

She was starting to feel uneasy.

"You and Dooku were looking for me? Why?"

"To be honest Dooku was more than I. Both of us knew your body wasn't accounted for on that ship. I was going to leave you in peace- I sensed your disillusionment with both sides before…you went into the healing trance. Dooku was not so obliging. Intelligence picked up he was agitated about something, but not what. I trailed him, and then I felt you."

"Why wasn't Skywalker with you?"

"Anakin and I had split up where Dooku could be into a search grid. I sensed him, and you, and called for Anakin's backup."

"You could have been killed. What kind of Jedi Master behaves so impulsively?"

Obi-Wan's eyes filled with a passionate light.

"One devoted to not losing another Jedi if possible."

Asajj flung herself backward and almost smacked into the wall.

"I am not a Jedi! You said it yourself: I am allied with neither!"

"You could be. The order could use your light Asajj."

"The order is corrupt!" She was going to say more but even thinking about Ky hurt too much- at least thinking of losing him did.

"The order is not perfect. I am sorry for what happened for Ky Narec. The ideals the order fights for; however, are worth it. Look at me Asajj. Am I corrupt?"

She glowered at her hands.

"I do not have to look at you."

"I'm not trying to upset you. Here is some food if you wish it: I promise it is safe. I will give you some space."

Asajj had a right to be angry, but to be angry at him felt churlish. _He is annoying but he did save my life._

"It is your temple. You're even on the council, so you have a right be where you wish."

"I don't want to impose."

She sighed. He sat back down and looked at her worriedly.

"I should not have pressed you. I am sorry."

She waved her spoon.

"You want me on your side for some reason," she said, neatly skipping over his apology.

"Surely it isn't that hard for you to see why."

"Dooku found me useless."

"Dooku and I have a difference of opinion."

She remembered a time long ago. Obi-Wan telling her she could have been one of the order's brightest lights. 

"You are…a kind man Obi-Wan. If there is any hope left in the Republic, and the Jedi, it is because of your brightness and not any hypothetical contribution I offer."

He moved closer to her.

"Why do you doubt yourself?"

She glared. "I doubt nothing."

"Hypothetical contribution?"

"I will never be a Jedi!"

"Humor me for a moment if you have the strength."

"That sounds like a challenge. What is it?"

"You already use the light side. The restraint you showed against Dooku is at least equivalent to a knight's skills."

"Skill does not equal allegiance to a philosophy Obi-Wan."

"Then what philosophy should a light order follow?"

Asajj's emotions sparked. Something about him called to parts of her she had thought obliterated.

"Something about you makes me get carried away Asajj. We should discuss this later."

Her fingers ground into the sheet.

"I told you I don't like pity!"

"It is not pity to show compassion."

"I am not weak. Do not leave Kenobi!"

Obi-Wan, _no he has to be Kenobi with these ridiculous things he's saying and he's keeping me from Rattatak. _

"If you wish. Will you answer the question?"

Asajj held back trembling as she remembered Ky's last moments.

"I would not leave a man to die alone and not mourned."

"The order didn't know he was still alive."

"They should have looked and kept looking till they knew!"

Obi-Wan looked disconcerted.

"What," she snarled. She struggled to gain back her emotional balance.

"You won't want to hear it."

"I can handle anything."

"You'll excuse me if I get some distance. You're going to be rather angry at me. Please understand I mean it as a compliment."

"Out with it. You don't usually mince words."

"Very well then. Your dedication to your master reminds me of Anakin-"

Asajj felt she had been slapped. _Anakin! _She remembered how Skywalker had been drawn to darkness during their battle on Yavin 4. How he had nearly killed her, with relish, when she had taunted him about Padme Amidala on Coruscant.

"He wouldn't believe I was dead after Jabiim. That is how I escaped your subordinates."

_Obi-Wan doesn't know. Force help him he doesn't know. About Padme Amidala or the darkness Skywalker lets out. Anakin refused to believe he was dead? No, I can't be like that lunatic-then again only a lunatic might betray Ky as I did. Myself and Skywalker. It is a contest to wonder which one of us would be more insulted by such a link…but it fits. Could Skywalker cause such havoc as I have if he turns? _

_ Even if it's true Obi-Wan will not hear it. Ky would not have believed it of me. I may be like Anakin and Obi-Wan is-no. No one deserves that comparison! No one…but Obi-Wan is compassionate, loyal and while he keeps himself apart he still cares. _

"Have you decided not to kill me?"

_Obi-Wan is just like Ky. Without Anakin the Jedi would have abandoned him too. Oh no, he's gone back to being 'Obi-Wan'. I think it will be impossible to call him 'Kenobi' from now on. Not after that realization. That's why I hated him. He is like Ky was and I couldn't handle it._

"Asajj I can feel something large is bothering you."

His eyes were filled with compassion. Not pity. Asajj was filled with as many emotions as she had ever felt at a time. Anger at the Jedi for abandoning Ky and later leaving Obi-Wan to her torture. Contempt for how Anakin Skywalker let his emotions rule him, but the painful truth that she was not much different given how she had acted. Admiration, and worry, for Obi-Wan who was of the same mold as the best man she had known. A man who had died painfully. A man betrayed by the apprentice he loved as a daughter and a sister.

She couldn't speak. Embarrassment at feeling so much, and so deeply, in front of anyone covered her. Extra embarrassment because who knew how Obi-Wan would feel if he knew how she felt about him.

She started at his hand on her shoulder. Her heart was breaking. One part was sick of being alone and wanted to trust him. He could be trusted. Another argued even a man as good as Ky could inadvertently betray- by leaving a bond torn and a woman alone.

_I am not weak! I will not break down! _

"Asajj, you aren't alone. He's still with you."

_Ky said there was no death and only the force. Is that really true? _

She knew what he would say as much as if he was in the room with her. She remembered how he cared for her after her parents died. What he had said to her that made her trust him.

_The Jedi Code says there is no pain, but it doesn't stop us from feeling it Asajj. Don't walk away from one who cares for you. _

Obi-Wan, his jesting about her lethality aside, had moved very close to her. She could easily do him considerable damage. She nodded to him.

"Asajj?"

Some leftover bit of her pride compelled her to say,

"Obi-Wan, you've never said my name so many times. You sound like a broken holotape."

"I've never had this much time to talk with you before. Besides, I usually say other terms which the council might take adversely."

Asajj looked into his eyes which were filled with a layer of amusement and worry. She wasn't sure what to say. Her vision was becoming embarrassingly blurred though. _He's gotten to all of my vulnerable spots, and cracked them, in one conversation. Negotiator indeed! _

Obi-Wan did something he probably _didn't_ usually do when negotiating. He hugged her. His force signature was filled with concern and care. Asajj leaned against him. _How long has it been since I trusted someone like this? No one else has worked so hard to reach me. _

"Let it go," he said softly.

"I'm still angry with the order."

"When it comes to you I will be grateful for what I get."

He still respected her. It was enough. She decided to follow his advice at least where tears were concerned.


	4. Chapter 4: Judgment

Disclaimer still applies.

Judgment

Asajj didn't like thinking about how long she cried in Obi-Wan's arms but the result was a freeing one.

"This probably won't be the last time," Obi-Wan warned her. Asajj tried to pull away but he kept her close.

"Obi-Wan I refuse to turn you into a tissue box."

"It is a gift freely offered."

The banter aside she knew he was right. Grieving for Ky also meant grieving for what she had done to his memory.

"Obi-Wan I doubt my judgment solely consists of…this."

"The council wants to talk to you, but only when you are ready."

"I can handle it. Killing me or throwing me in prison doesn't take long."

"It isn't going to be like that."

"Why? Because you wish otherwise?"

"I'll admit when it comes to you I am not objective, but I still feel my judgment is good."

Asajj frowned. _I have fought him more than any other Jedi. Why was it always him? How did he find me on Boz Pity? Why? Everyone knew I was dead._

"Obi-Wan why were you on Boz Pity?"

"Somehow I knew you were not dead. Subconsciously, I think I knew you were in pain."

"That suggests closeness. I thought the order banned that."

"There is nothing wrong with helping another."

_Helping. Ky would've never stopped being close to me. Obi-Wan will do whatever he thinks is honorable- which will mean not being as close to me when I am healed. Stupid rule against attachment. Why not feel? I know attachment can blind, like it did for me and like it is for Anakin. Yet it is my feeling for Obi-Wan which is helping me not to feel alone. Well I should make it easy for him and pull away so he won't have to. _Obi-Wan, being Obi-Wan, seemed to read her mind.

"Don't even think about stopping this. You need to heal," he said seriously.

"You need to keep your reputation."

"Are you trying to ruin me?"

There was some of their old banter. Asajj laughed.

"No, I have no desire for such a thing to happen."

"Trust me."

"You wouldn't be touching me if I didn't."

It was his turn to laugh.

"I will concede that point."

There was an unspoken _my dear_ at the end of that. Asajj pulled away then.

"If I don't move I will freeze in that position. You can tell your council I will speak with them."

He appraised her with a frown and then nodded.

"I will. Get some rest."

"You are not my boss Obi-Wan."

"You said it yourself: you're on my home territory."

Asajj waved at him. He gave a bow and left her to sleep.

The next time she saw him he wasn't playful.

"The council is ready to see you."

"Then I am ready to see them."

"This might get unpleasant."

_I want to go back to helping my people but, given my actions, it is not realistic. I'll settle for making sure they don't malign Obi-Wan. The Jedi Order should be about helping people! He should not be punished for helping me- even if it seems to go against their stupid rule against attachment._

Feeling where this train of thought was leading her she pulled away and sought the force. It wrapped around her warmly, so much so she was startled.

"The darkside has blocked the light a lot, but it is still strong here."

Asajj had had a hard time after Boz Pity- she had battled to save her world and to find herself. She had come to regret the pain her actions would have caused Ky. She regretted killing innocents. Her feelings on harming Jedi were uncertain- she was angry at the order but she knew Ky would not have approved of her actions. He also would not have approved of the fact that by helping the darkness she had acted against the light. Something moved her to speak, a feeling of compulsion like she had when she had been in the bacta tank on the way here.

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

She could say it to him, but he was worthy of it. The council… _I'm going before the best of the order with a disordered mind. Wonderful. _

"Just be honest- though don't let your emotions control you."

His advice was annoyingly practical but said gently. They lapsed into a comfortable silence. Asajj wished there was a way in the small lift to watch him without him noticing. She had seen him in battle- both weapons and words, but never as Councilor Kenobi.

They walked into the council room. Asajj was startled when he stood by her instead of sitting.

_"I can handle myself." _

_ "You did a lot of harm, but it happened after you were left alone when you shouldn't have been. I'm not making that error." _

Asajj resisted the impulse to glare at him.

"Thought never see this day would I."

If there was a Jedi which would embody her anger towards the order it would be Yoda. He had to have been on the council when her master disappeared. _No, I won't give into darkness. I won't betray Ky, or turn into that creature Dooku tried to make me into. _

She wasn't sure what to say so she remained silent. To her surprise Yoda got out of his chair. Some instinct prompted her to semi-kneel so she would be as close to eye level as possible.

"Angry you are."

Obi-Wan's advice echoed in her mind.

"You left him to _die_."

"Sorry for his loss I am. Excuse what you did it does not."

That made her eyes drop. She was angry at the order and she wanted what had happened to Ky to excuse what she had done. _Who wants to feel guilty? I wanted the Jedi to suffer as I did. Part of me still does or I wouldn't grieve for what I did only on the basis of how it would hurt Ky. Is that honorable though? Obi-Wan said the order wasn't perfect. That the ideals it strives to follow are worth more than the imperfection. If I am to follow the light some of those ideals must be mine. Killing because you want someone to suffer is wrong. Killing the way I did was wrong: torture, gases, so many other ways. To believe these things might destroy me, but even with how important Rattatak is, I have to risk that. For if I don't feel or do what is necessary to stay in the light I may go back to the darkness. If I do that Rattatak goes as well. Yet, I must do one more thing before whatever happens next. _

"Master Kenobi?"

"Yes Ms. Ventress?"

"Keep your promise about my ship."

"I told you I would."

"I was wrong to forget then. Fine Yoda. What I felt excuses nothing. Do what you will with me."

She meant it. She knelt before Yoda as she had before Dooku. She lowered her mental shields and awaited her fate. She didn't know what they were going to do, but she wouldn't fight it.

"Master Windu, what see you hmm?"

_Make it quick. For Obi-Wan's sake if nothing else. For whatever reason he thinks me worthy of being unharmed. I don't want to end my life here when I know there is much I could do, but I've to pay for what I've done. If such a thing is fully possible given the damage I have done. _

"Look at me Ventress."

She looked up into Mace Windu's powerful eyes. She felt odd. _He can see shatterpoints in a person and in time. How oddly interesting. _The Jedi Master's eyebrows rose in surprise.

"She tells the truth. She is no danger to us. Her fate is unclear though- it is clouded."

_What does that mean? _

She heard argument bursting around her. She wanted to cover her ears. _This is the corruption I hated! They should be able to meditate in the force not resort to clumsy words! _

Silence filled the room. She remembered she still had her shields down. The awkward moment was broken, or intensified, when Master Yoda laughed.

"Sees right to the core of things young Ventress does."

His ears dropped.

"What tell you of us did Count Dooku?"

"That the Jedi are a corrupt order failing and decrepit. That it needs to be wiped clean."

"What say you?"

He didn't say Asajj could put her shields back up so her uncertainty was there for everyone to see. She strived for certainty in the midst of her emotions. _The order is imperfect, it has done wrong, but how right is what strives to replace it? Greed? Betrayal? Power? What do they care for those who are useless by their laws? Dooku didn't care for me when I was no longer a tool for him. I felt the same towards others. I don't know! _She had spent years hating the order. No gently put eloquent words by Obi-Wan could make that go away suddenly. _Obi-Wan will do his duty. He stands by this. I don't know…_she strived for something to stand on this issue. A thought came to her. One that didn't depend on ideals and was fervent: embarrassingly so once she thought it._ I know anyone who tries to cleanse Obi-Wan will have to deal with me. _

"I do not truly know enough to answer that question," she hurriedly answered.

"Hmmm. Honest you are. Important step that is. Obi-Wan, need not Master Windu's ability to know central to her journey are you."

Asajj looked at Yoda. Nine hundred years of _something_ looked back at her.

"I won't fail her."

"Obvious that is because you it is Obi-Wan," Yoda said in a way that clearly communicated discussion was closed. The Jedi Master further closed things by giving her a look that told her she could put her shields back up. She gladly did so.

"Onto other matters move on we should. Much to discuss there is. That look give me not Obi-Wan. Decide some things without you can we. Introduce Asajj to the temple you should."

"Yes master," Obi-Wan said as obediently as a padawan. Asajj didn't know whether to be grateful or aghast. On the one hand, she was grateful Yoda had ensured her fate was decided so quickly. On the other hand, having one person be able to overrule so many was overwhelming.

"Asajj?"

If they had been alone she would have accepted the hand Obi-Wan held out- which was a comforting and unsettling thought. As it was she hurriedly got up and followed him out of the room.


	5. Chapter 5: Planning

I wish I owned _Star Wars_, and having the force would be useful, but I've neither.

Planning

Obi-Wan, Yoda's instruction aside, brought her back to her room.

"Asajj, I think it might be a good idea if you rest and then we do the tour."

Asajj barely heard him. Her mind was churning with what had happened in the council room. _It was all wrong. Nothing excuses it. If it weren't for Rattatak nothing would keep me from going insane. Ky, master, I am sorry. So sorry. _

"My dear please talk to me?"

"How can you call me that Obi-Wan?"

"Because you never have been truly lost to darkness."

"That doesn't matter!"

"It doesn't? Why is that pray tell?"

"I still did those things!"

Judging by the calm look in Obi-Wan's eyes he had called her by his nickname for her to get her emotions to the surface. She didn't want to take her anger out on him so she glared at the wall to the right of his head instead.

"Did Ky not discuss redemption with you? Forgiveness?"

"This is too high scale for that."

"Why?"

"Obi-Wan you are being unreasonable," she said tiredly.

Obi-Wan pulled her to a couch. Supposedly it was _her couch_ since the Jedi weren't going mind wipe, imprison or kill her. He kept his hand on her shoulder.

"Asajj, frame of mind matters deeply to the Jedi. Did Ky ever tell you the story of Ulic Qel-Droma?"

"We…didn't have much time for stories."

"Then I'll tell you now."

He got up. "Lay down. Rest. I'm going to get something and come back."

"What could you possibly need?"

"Well it might be here. Hmm, I see the quartermaster has a sense of humor. They must have known I would spend some time here."

Obi-Wan had gone into a kitchen, _her kitchen_, and started moving around. Frowning, Asajj looked over to see him.

"What are you doing?"

"Making tea. I always wondered if you would like it. Perhaps the blend I favor might be too bitter for you, but it can serve as an introduction."

"You want to discuss the state of my soul over tea?"

"Why not?"

If she was not so tired she would have called him infuriating. She did think it though. She also wondered if her shields were at full strength because he smiled. He came back with two mugs. One he put on the small table to the left of her couch.

"Drink your tea. It will help."

She sat, holding her tea, and glowered at him. Then she glowered at her cup. _He does not want me getting mired in guilt so he is trying to annoy me. _

"Obi-Wan, you win. Tell your story."

Hearing the seriousness in her voice he sat next to her. She looked at him and revised her theory. Something about the look in his eyes told her the tea was more than a distraction so she sipped at it. It was bitter, but not unpleasantly so. The cup warmed her as did the compassion in his eyes.

"Ulic Qel-Droma was a Jedi Knight under the training of Master Arca Jeth. After his master died he fell to the dark side. Influenced, but not forced, by a rage poison he joined the dark side at Exar Kun's side and ravaged the galaxy. He came back to the light, and helped the Jedi destroy Exar Kun, but could not forgive himself for what he had done. He lived in a state of conflict until Vima Sunrider came to him for training. When the distraught Jedi, Slyvar, wanted to kill him because she blamed him for the death of her mate he wouldn't fight her. He drew her back to the light, and showed himself of it again as well."

"What happened to him?"

"A spacer killed him. He joined the force in a manner rarely seen now- his body fading into it- and his padawan correctly identified him as a Jedi Master."

"Redemption doesn't end well."

"Sometimes, and it depends on how you view 'well'."

She snorted skeptically.

"Don't give up Asajj."

"I have no intention to."

_I will not let the past destroy me. The present and the future hold too much. Now that the Jedi have decided not to kill me I need to work for Rattatak. _

"Obi-Wan, your intention to help me is kind but I cannot stay here."

"Asajj, must I repeat myself about Dooku finding you?"

"What I need to do will not take long."

_And then I can die happy- my world will have the resources it needs to rebuild. My life matters nothing besides it. I have no other reason to be alive. _Obi-Wan frowned.

"So this is how you will help your world? Through suicide?"

"It is not suicide," she snapped.

He folded his arms and continued to give her that calm, but annoyed, look.

"That shipment is only part of Rattatak's wealth. You are the other. What you want to do will sacrifice both."

Despite the personal trust she had in him, and her repentance at what she had done to the Jedi, her senses momentarily went blank. The Jedi were not perfect, and the Republic was under the control of Sidious. She had never learned who Sidious was, but she knew from Dooku he was controlling the Republic. If Obi-Wan knew the truth about Rattatak's wealth he would tell the Jedi and then the corrupt Republic would raze her world. _How can the light help me deal with this? The dark tells me what I could do, but to destroy one as good as Ky… _

"Asajj, the Republic could use that mineral but I will not tell them. That is your choice and no one else's."

_His word is worth more than some planets. _She let her shoulders relax. Then she glowered at him.

"You've seen Rattatak. You know it needs help. I am the only one who has a chance of getting the minerals exchanged secretly."

"Even with Dooku's eye on you? Asajj you are not thinking clearly. Right now Dooku cares about _you_. He felt you through the force and was focused on you and not what you were trying to do. Leave the protection of the temple and he will track you down. Then both you and Rattatak will be in danger- you in his clutches and your world's secret revealed to him."

"So my world has to manage without myself and the resources it needs until Dooku is defeated? How is _that_ reasonable Obi-Wan?"

His eyes were gray. "It isn't. Stay until his attention is distracted. Then maybe we can set something up."

Asajj swept around her quarters. For the first time they felt imprisoning and she wanted to yell. _Unfortunately Obi-Wan is right. Dooku does not want to waste the resources to secure a world he thinks is worthless. Yet he is guaranteed to have people watching it. Even if I successfully make a trade the items which are brought back will be noticed. Then he will become curious how I got that shipment and Rattatak will be doomed to his mercy, or to the Republic's. I am not sure which is worse or perhaps it is a trick question. _

She didn't feel like telling him he was right. He would take her silence as an assent.

"Asajj, you have an opportunity to heal. Take it and then help Rattatak when the time is right."

She looked over at him with a frown.

"Obi-Wan, you cannot spend all your time coddling me. You have a war to fight."

"That is true, but there are many things you can do without me once you get used to the temple. Some of the Jedi will be uneasy with you, but others will see you as a sign of hope and will want to help you."

_Do you really think I will speak with anyone else as I do with you? You call to me and make me feel comfortable too comfortable. You, Obi-Wan, are a vulnerability…_

"Very well. Our course is plain for now. I should rest and then learn to find my way around this place."

"I will be glad to give you a tour," he said with a courteous bow. Asajj found herself having to resist the impulse to force throw a pillow at him. _Yes, I definitely need to do something. This is getting out of hand. _


	6. Chapter 6: Acquainted

Thanks to George Lucas for creating the great locales and characters of _Star Wars_.

Acquainted

It was odd to wake up in the Jedi Temple. Even as an apprentice to Ky she had not thought it would happen. _I am here. What is the force trying to do with me? First my betrayal at Dooku's hands and now these perplexing feelings regarding Obi-Wan. I feel comforted but also embarrassed. At least I don't have to worry about it happening around anyone else. No one else could possibly be like Ky Narec, or Obi-Wan Kenobi. _

She sat and looked around her room. _Obi-Wan and I didn't set a time for our tour. We were too busy bantering or being mushy. Perhaps he wants to give me time to sleep. As if I would ever spend more than the minimum doing that. _

As she tried thinking about what to do she felt the a gentle tap on her shields. Her eyes snapped towards the door of her quarters.

"_I was wondering if you felt like that tour. After breakfast since even warriors need to eat." _

_Great. Now he's in my head on a regular basis. _As was becoming usual with Obi-Wan her trust in him made her feel good while her toughness objected to the feeling.

"_I have no other plans." _

She waved open the door to her room and Obi-Wan came in.

"Shall we?"

Asajj was astonished none of the Jedi they saw in the halls behaved as if her presence was unusual. When she remarked on it Obi-Wan smiled.

"Somehow the tale of your fight with Dooku became widespread. Throwing the dark side in a Sith's face builds a lot of goodwill as does the trust of the Council."

Asajj frowned. _There is one person I haven't seen- except during my recovery in the bacta tank on the way here. _

"What of Skywalker?"

"Anakin isn't happy, but my word and that of the Council is enough to keep him from objecting. You probably won't see him though."

"Good. We mix like hyperdrive fluid and fire."

"Then we should keep you two apart to keep the temple standing. Here's the cafeteria."

Asajj had noticed the hallways seemed sparse. The near emptiness of the cafeteria made her uncomfortably aware of how thin the Jedi were right now. She looked around the room to find a table not wanting to follow Obi-Wan like some sort of pathetic life form.

"Ms. Ventress, over here!"

A Mon Calamari female waved to her. Puzzled Asajj walked over and sat across from her.

"My name is Bant. I checked over you once you reached the temple."

"I thank you for your care," Asajj said formally.

"Obi-Wan!"

"Good morning Bant."

It was clear from his smile and hers that the two were old friends. They traded pleasantries among light conversation. Asajj nearly dropped her spoon when Bant said,

"I hope you won't be in the healing ward as much as Obi-Wan has. Even before becoming a knight he spent a lot of time there."

"Bant!"

Asajj was not one to miss intelligence when she could get it. Being in charge of warlords and Separatists makes it an ingrained action.

"Please tell," she purred and looked at Obi-Wan out of the corner of her eye. He actually blushed for a moment before regaining control. It was a control which was sorely tried by the stories which Bant told: the biggest being that Obi-Wan had the highest healer visit rate ever among padawans. At first Asajj laughed but then she frowned.

"That is in character."

"Do I want to know how," he asked with a pained look on his face.

"You are too noble for your own good."

"A compliment in front of a witness? I am growing on you."

Asajj remembered her thought in front of the council. She felt a small nudge in the force.

"_I'm not reading your mind but I know what you're thinking. That doesn't count." _

Asajj pretended she hadn't heard his mental comment.

"This place has a cloying air."

"Really?"

Asajj could only be annoyed with him for so long it seemed. She sighed at him.

"It is…bearable."

Obi-Wan's eyes glinted mischievously. She didn't know if whatever he was going to say was going to make her cringe, and she was unnerved by how much she wanted to hear whatever was on his mind. _I enjoyed fighting him. Surely enjoying a mental battle is no different. _

Unfortunately, or fortunately, his eyes gained a distracted cast. He got up and gave Bant and her a regretful look.

"The Council needs me. Asajj, we'll have to do the tour later."

"I could take you if you wouldn't mind," Bant volunteered. Asajj found this was not objectionable. Bant had told some very interesting stories about Obi-Wan.

"I would not. How many levels does this place have?"

The answer indicated the tour would take a long time. Asajj gave Obi-Wan a sweet smile.

"That sounds very intriguing. Your friend and I will be fine Obi-Wan," she replied to him.

Obi-Wan gave them both a suspicious look. He didn't say anything out loud as he left, but mentally voiced some interesting statements. Asajj wondered if Bant heard.

Judging by the Mon Calamari's laughter as soon as he left the room she had.

Asajj got back to her room that evening and curled up on her couch. Bant had been a font of stories. Asajj wasn't smiling, but was feeling contemplative, because not all had been funny. She had learned that Obi-Wan, like her, had lost a master- a beloved master- right in front of his eyes. _At least I can't blame myself for Ky's death. Obi-Wan shouldn't either, but given he was almost at knight level when his master died he probably does. Does, not did because Obi-Wan is not one to apply forgiveness to himself. On top of that he got Skywalker right away and as a dying instruction from his master! What kind of master, beloved or no, does that to his student? Was this Qui-Gon the typical arrogant Jedi? That aside- being stuck with Skywalker so quickly! At least I got to grieve- or I could have if I hadn't let myself become overcome with rage. Obi-Wan had to release his 'attachment' to his master right away. Would he have truly done so? He never gave up on me, and he shows no sign of being any less loyal to Skywalker. He doesn't seem to be in any pain, but he hid pain on Rattatak very well. Enough. I will not bother him about it. _

She was interrupted from her musings by a knock on the door. She went to see a smiling, but tired, Obi-Wan.Asajj remembered how he had comforted her yesterday with tea. She also remembered the look on his face, briefly, that had told her tea was somehow deeply important to him. _Could it be connected to his master? If so Obi-Wan honored me. _

"I will make you some tea. I am curious why it is important to you."

Obi-Wan smiled. It was a happy smile but also tinged with sadness. Asajj knew what he was going to say.

"My master introduced me to it. It still helps me gain focus."

Asajj rummaged in her kitchen and quickly got water boiling. She looked at him expectantly. _I want to hear more about this Qui-Gon. Bant's stories were illuminating but I want to know more before I decide about him. _

Just as she could read his twinge of sadness he could read her hidden motive.

"Bant told you about my master didn't she?"

"Among other things."

Obi-Wan sighed when he knew she wouldn't elaborate. She made the tea and brought it to the couch. Obi-Wan took his with a thankful smile and sipped it for a moment. Then he put it down and looked at her seriously.

"Masters care for their padawans deeply. Not attachment but a deep bond is formed. Qui-Gon was like a father to me. I am the Jedi I am because of him."

Asajj wouldn't press him. Instead she sipped her tea and watched him. He looked very tired in contrast to the mischievous joy he had been brimming with in the morning. _Watching over me must have been the only time off he has had in a long time. His tiredness, or the foolishness of the Jedi, led him to say an error. _

"How can you be like a son to someone and not be attached to them?"

_So I am pressing him. I just can't resist refuting such foolishness! _

Obi-Wan looked even more tired. Asajj then did something she never thought she would do.

"Forget it. It must be a mystery I don't understand- or foolishness which I would not agree with. Just do what you told me to do and drink your tea."

Obi-Wan looked startled and relieved. He quickly recovered.

"Now that you know about me why not tell me about you? I am curious."

Asajj frowned as she remembered crying on him.

"You know a lot."

"I know you hurt, but I'd like to know more about what happened."

Asajj sipped at her tea and then looked at him. He settled in with a look almost like a child waiting for a story.

"I saw Ky's ship crash and was intrigued. I went and found him. Something about him called to me, so I showed him around. He told me I had the force and offered to teach me. Then we began to make peace. I felt at peace for the first time since my parents died. Ky was always protecting me and looking out for me. We argued but weren't hurt by it- we clung to each other in the midst of war."

_Like you and Anakin. I don't want to think about him right now! _

"Our efforts made us the target of the warlords who remained. Ky kept them from killing me."

Obi-Wan kept quiet but she felt warmth from him. She put her tea on the table so she wouldn't drop it.

"Was Kirske the one who killed him? And your parents?"

"He was the leader."

_Do I have to regret killing him? He killed my master and my parents! Must I regret even doing that? I am not one who does things halfway, and I have given myself to the light side. Yet giving up my justification over killing that murderer! _She looked at Obi-Wan who was calm. _How did he feel battling that Sith?_

"Obi-Wan…how did you feel when you killed the Sith who killed your master?"

Obi-Wan took in a deep breath. She sensed him reaching for the force and centering himself.

"I was distraught. It distracted me and I almost fell down a shaft. I called upon the force and flew back up and killed him. Taking someone who has the high ground takes a lot of concentration. The light flowed through me to kill him. I will admit when I did to feeling some satisfaction. I let go of the emotion but it could have lingered- which Qui-Gon would not have wanted. That knowledge gave me the strength to disperse the feeling but it was hard for a time. Then I ran to Qui-Gon's side."

Asajj frowned. _He feels but he let it go? For his master. _

"Obi-Wan I do not _want_ to let go of that satisfaction. Even for Ky, or for my world."

"The darkness is crafty. The killing of Kirske contains all the anger and pain you felt over losing Ky. You cannot hold onto those emotions Asajj. They betray Ky and they betray you. As long as you keep them you won't be able to be the light you can. Those emotions feel good, intoxicating, but they cause damage Asajj. You must let go of them."

"I could never look that piece of slime in the eye and apologize for killing him."

"This isn't about what is best for him. It's about what is best for you."

Asajj got up and paced. She could feel Obi-Wan watching her. She faltered, slid down to her knees and looked at the floor. Obi-Wan, as she predicted, came and sat down in front of her.

"Let me help."

Asajj's head snapped up as something occurred to her.

"Did anyone help you? Losing your master in such a way was not common before the war."

"I had my training to help me."

Asajj sensed going further on this path might annoy Obi-Wan. _He helps so well but he cannot accept being helped. If Anakin cares for him as I did for Ky it must be annoying. _

"Asajj?"

_I don't like being helped either, but maybe he needs someone to show him how it's done. To allow help when you'd rather not- or maybe I just want an excuse to let him help me. _

"Breathe."

Obi-Wan coached her into meditation. She had meditated in the light on Rattatak, but it had not been as turbulent as this promised to be. _He is right. Unless I have the right feeling towards this act I will not be truly free of the darkness. _

Her anger and pain made the process extremely difficult. She even snapped at Obi-Wan a few times but he was patient.

"I've heard far worse my dear."

_Oh yes. Skywalker. _

She struggled because she was fighting herself. Finally she let her anger go. Anger was replaced by shame at dishonoring Ky, but she released that too. _Ideals have to be more important than people. Sometimes…_

Obi-Wan caught her eyes. "Ky would be proud of you."

Asajj knew the torture she had felt was showing in her eyes. She also knew Obi-Wan must have felt it, but some remaining pride made her pull her eyes down so she could at least have some semblance of calm.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"That is what friends are for."

_It has been a long time since I cared for anyone or them for me. Yes, my followers on Rattatak care but not like this. I could not unburden myself to them as I do to you. You are my friend. If you are my friend then vulnerability doesn't matter does it? _

To let someone look into the deepest part of her soul was rare. To not regret it and just trust it was rarer.

"Then we are friends Obi-Wan," she said and held out a hand. Obi-Wan wrapped his hands around hers and gave her a look as though speaking the deepest oath.

"Yes, Asajj, we are."


	7. Chapter 7: Separation

George Lucas created a great sandbox: even has librarians. (A profession I am working to join.)

Separation

Obi-Wan had made a point of seeing her because he and Anakin were going back to the front lines. Asajj found it mildly disquieting to wake up and not feel his force signature close by. Shaking her head of the thought she decided to go to the cafeteria. The force decided to make her morning easy by having Bant eating at the same time.

"Asajj!"

Asajj settled in front of the Mon Calamari. Bant was not Obi-Wan but Asajj admitted to feeling some fondness for her. The Mon Calamari was obviously a healer, and not a warrior, but Asajj did not hold that against her. After all the healing arts were why Asajj was still alive, so she would not quibble. Besides the Jedi honored healing. Asajj frowned. _I have taken the ideals of the Jedi as my own- not counting their ridiculousness about attachment. Does this mean I am a Jedi? Held to their authority? Will they try to make me a padawan? Hopefully not. I am only here until I can get back to Rattatak. I give my fealty to the light, but I have my own work to do. _

"What are your plans for today?"

Asajj was not certain. Beyond the knowledge she couldn't leave for Rattatak her plans for the day were uncertain.

"I am not certain."

"Well if you need anything please ask me."

Asajj almost snapped a question if Obi-Wan had put Bant up to that, but she could sense the Mon Calamari liked Asajj for her own sake.

"Thank you, but I think I need some time to think. I am usually more organized."

"You've been through a lot."

_I put people through a lot as well. What would be the most productive use of my time? Perhaps I can do some research for Rattatak. My plans so far have been guesses. They have worked but I prefer more precision. _

She remembered Bant quietly bringing Asajj to the archives. _So much information. I wonder if they would also have information on Ky…_

"Bant, do the archives or any other place have information on specific Jedi? I would like to learn more about my master."

Bant looked uncertain. Asajj would not hold it against her if she refused to help. _I am dark no longer but I have not done anything to earn their trust either. _

"There should be information about him in the achives."

Asajj could guess what was bothering the Mon Calamari now.

"I do not mind if anyone monitors what I look for."

_I wonder how they would take it if I also look up information about Obi-Wan and his master. I heard whispers Obi-Wan's master was Dooku's student. _

"Alright. Remember to eat though because research eats time."

Asajj nodded. "I will take the advice of a healer. I will see you later."

She went to the archives. Sure enough, the librarian came to her.

"May I help you?"

"I am seeking information to help my home world Rattatak heal, about my master Ky Narec and about Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn."

"An assortment. What connects them?"

The librarian walked, expecting Asajj to follow. Asajj knew the ruler of a domain when faced with one.

"They are all topics I care about. My world needs help and I need to be informed to do it. I want to learn more about my master because he had little time to tell me. Obi-Wan is interesting and I wonder about how his master formed him- and how his master was formed by Dooku."

The librarian gave Asajj a piercing look at that.

"Very well," she conceded. She gave Asajj a tour of the archives. Asajj eyed the statues of the lost Jedi- Jedi who had left the order and shook her head. _One could say so few is a testament to the strength of the order. One could say so many is a testament to its weakness. _

Asajj settled in to read about planetary cycles and requirements. At first she ignored her body's queries for food but remembered Bant and stood up. She had no desire to displease the one ally she had here.

She picked up the materials she had read and was going to return them when she heard a cleared throat behind her.

"You may download information to a datapad to read if you wish."

"That would be agreeable."

Clearly someone had decided show Asajj more trust. Asajj knew if it had been Obi-Wan extending the trust nothing would be required. For the Council to do so…her eyes narrowed. _Take things as they come. Obi-Wan trusts the Council so I will do so for now. _

Asajj left with several datapads and went back to her room. She felt more like reading than comprehensive nutrition so she cobbled some food together and made some tea. Making tea reminded her of Obi-Wan. She felt curious to know how he was, but wasn't about to ask the force. _Either he is well or not…I can do nothing to change his fate. _The thought was practical but she irrationally felt like she was not being a good friend for it. _What can I do from here? What if I drew attention to him somehow? _Asajj wanted to ask someone about this but that would mean exposing, more than she already had, her caring for Obi-Wan.

_Enough. Do what you can and trust him to remember the first rule of war: to survive. _

Research brought her knowledge she could use to help Rattatak and insight into Ky and Obi-Wan. Asajj was; however, suffering the side effect of research. _I have barely moved in days and I hadn't gotten a good workout long before that. _She looked at her lightsabers but shook her head. _I do not want any misunderstandings which means I will have to make do with training weapons. _

She borrowed some training sabers and used the force to find an empty training room. She didn't feel like any opponents be them droids or live beings. She centered herself and went through what she remembered of the katas. Then she stretched again and imagined herself fighting an opponent. What moves would be her best? What arrangements called to her? She let herself flow around the training room. Something jarred her concentration and she swept out of her workout to find Mace Windu observing her. She shut off the training blades and observed him back.

"You still prefer two lightsabers."

"There is nothing evil in what I am doing."

_Using two sabers fits me. If I want to use one fine, but the other is there if I need it. _

"I sensed no darkness in you. Your time with Obi-Wan has been fruitful."

Asajj held back some annoyance. She trusted Obi-Wan, but trusting others with the knowledge she trusted Obi-Wan was still jarring. She settled for a nod.

"Would you be able to spar?"

_So the Council tests me again. Fine. _

"I would."

This test was a very challenging one. Mace Windu was not just a Jedi Council member. He used the Vaapad style which harnessed darkness instead of dispersing it. He would be a fierce opponent and the closest to a Dark Jedi she had faced since Dooku.

Soon they were moving about the room. Asajj called on the force to hold off both him and the darkness he was channeling. Asajj knew if she had not done as Obi-Wan had recommended and let go of her anger at Kirske she would have been tempted by darkness again. As it was she was able to remain separate from it. It was her only victory in what felt like too short a time as Windu held his blade against her neck. He, like her, was using a training blade.

"You kept away from the darkness Ventress. You could be a Jedi if you wished."

She frowned. "My allegiance belongs to Rattatak."

"The Council is uneasy with the idea of you returning there with your training unfinished. You do not touch the darkness, but I sense you still have more to learn to truly resist it."

_To learn unattachment? I think you overvalue it. _

"Think about it."

"I shall."

_Not for very long. _

"Yoda would like to see you tomorrow."

_Daily check ins. Not too onerous. _

"I shall visit with him then."

She decided to visit the old master early in the morning. As she approached his room she cautiously reached out. Yoda felt her and the doors to his quarters opened. Asajj went in cautiously and sat where he gestured.

"Take care of things quickly do you. Good morning to you Asajj Ventress."

"And you as well."

"Share some tea with me would you?"

_Tea. Obi-Wan_. Was Yoda the one who had passed on the tea tradition to Obi-Wan's master? Asajj figured thinking on that question would be more productive than wondering about Obi-Wan.

"To Obi-Wan your thoughts turn."

_These are not check ins they are tests. Tests of my loyalty and skill I do not mind, but leave my thoughts of Obi-Wan alone. _She reined in her irritation.

"Ask this to make you unhappy was not my intention. Meditated on his state have you?"

"No. It would be pointless or potentially damaging."

_I will not worry about him. It helps nothing. _

"Worried Dooku might harm Obi-Wan through your perception are you?"

Asajj's hands clenched into fists. Yoda was hitting two sore spots this time: Dooku and her concern for Obi-Wan.

"I don't know enough of the dark side to know what he can do."

"Teach you how to shield yourself can I if wish it do you."

Asajj narrowed her eyes at him.

"Why?"

"Sorrow for your loss and for your being alone I feel. Also, important Obi-Wan is. Too many wishing and watching for his safety we cannot have."

_Blending sentiment with practicality? I will not turn it down in Obi-Wan's case._

She nodded and he began to teach her. It was harder listening to him than Obi-Wan, but since Obi-Wan was who she was seeking she allowed it. Reaching for him was still hard and Asajj suspected Yoda was going to judge how close she and Obi-Wan had become by how much and how easily she did so. She reached with determination and found Obi-Wan's force signature. He was fighting, his concentration on the battle. Asajj, since Yoda didn't stop her, reached further and she could see him battling. He and Skywalker moved as one and the warrior in her enjoyed seeing them.

"Productive the meditation was?"

The worry about Obi-Wan she had pushed away was replaced by knowing how he did. Being this in tune with the force in a non-battle capacity- whether the battles were with weapons, words or herself- was a new and calming experience. Asajj blinked and nodded.

"It was," she said briefly.

Yoda eyed her for a moment and then nodded.

"Like I said important Obi-Wan is. If sense any danger to him tell me you must."

Yoda was assuming she would use her new skill to check frequently on Obi-Wan. To Asajj's annoyance he was right. She wanted to know Obi-Wan was alright and if she could help him she would.

"I shall."

To her surprise, Asajj was left alone after that. Her days passed in a cycle: eat, research, training room, meditate on Obi-Wan, and sleep. She would be interrupted not by checkups, at least not Council ones, but by various masters who were friends of Obi-Wan. She fought her first non-test related spar with Luminara. She endured a lunch with Kit Fisto. She even spent some time learning a few healing meditations from Bant.

Then the Separatists invaded Coruscant.


	8. Chapter 8: Worry

Now venturing into _Revenge of the Sith_…

Worry

Asajj felt when the fleet came out of hyperspace. Warrior instincts screamed at her to do something but she did not know what. She was not a part of any defense plans, so she sat in her room. She switched on the holonet and looked from it to her window. She was shocked.

_Has Dooku gone insane? There is no way he can take, let alone hold, Coruscant! Even he committed all his forces here. I can feel the passion of the people here. There is panic, but also determination to keep their home. Those who can will fight. It will trigger a bloodbath! Dooku does them, but only as a last resort. He abhors mess: physical mess that is. No, do not think of the past. Let it go. _

_I told Obi-Wan to watch Coruscant. I knew Dooku was planning something but something so blunt as an invasion I did not think of. Bounty hunter attacks, kidnappings or killings or even a virus but not this! _

Asajj reached out with the force. She could feel the battle but something seemed off. _He is not maneuvering to take the planet. The dispersal pattern is not correct. He wants something. To bomb the temple? No, that would only increase the will of the Jedi spread throughout the galaxy. Attack the Senate? No, by now the Senators will be fleeing like vermin from a drowning ship. What else? _

She frowned thinking of the Chancellor's Office at the top of the Senate. _He's after Palpatine! If he succeeds he will cause chaos! I know I didn't anticipate this when I told Obi-Wan to watch this planet but why didn't the Council see this? How can the Jedi be so weak?_

Anti-Jedi feelings started to churn in her heart. She meditated and calmed. _The Jedi are weak but they haven't had time to fix the weakness. This war has kept them too busy. It makes me wonder. _

Asajj wanted to do something. She was no Jedi, but Coruscant was her temporary home…and Obi-Wan's. _There is nothing I can do. _

She felt the ripple in the force when Grievous captured Palpatine. She followed the chaos as the general and the chancellor left the planet. _How could this happen? What about planetary security? Maybe I should offer my services if the Republic lives through this! _

Even she was nervous. _Who can reverse this? Yoda and Windu have their hands full keeping the Republic from unraveling. The other council members have to repair damage. Who else is there? _

In her mental eye the answer to her question surged against her senses. Two familiar force presences surged into her view. One was bright in the force but didn't call to her. The other was brighter because it was dear to her.

_They've called in Obi-Wan and Skywalker. The best of the best. The unbeatable team. Force! The news of their arrival must have been released because I can feel an ocean of confidence and support. _

Asajj turned her attention back to the battle. She let herself go deeper into an awareness of Obi-wan than she had before. _If there is any battle which will take him it is this one. Yoda did tell me to be aware if Obi-Wan is in danger, _she thought sardonically. Her concentration was jarred by a knock on her door, but the knocker gently kept her focus from being broken.

"Yoda," Asajj said in a trance. The battle above, and her view of Obi-Wan, kept her attention.

"Sense Obi-Wan you do?"

"I do. Do you?"

"I do, but more attuned to him are you. Update can you give me?"

Asajj felt and dispersed panic at seeing Obi-Wan's fighter engulfed by Vulture droids. She kept herself calm and had to resist a mental yell of relief and consternation when Anakin blasted the droids off. _How can Obi-Wan fly with only one wing? What idiocy! _She watched both fighters make it into Grievous' ship.

"They've made it to the _Invisible Hand_. Their fighters are destroyed so they will have to find another way off."

She felt tired. Keeping an eye on Obi-Wan this closely without him knowing and being distracted was taking her energy.

"Let me help young Ventress."

Asajj leaned on Yoda's force signature. Vaguely she felt Mace Windu arrive.

"Coruscant is stabilized. Has she found Obi-Wan?"

"On the _Hand_, are Obi-Wan and Anakin."

"That is what I heard from Yularen."

"Yularen, leading the battle is. Time for detailed status reports to give he does not."

Asajj recounted Obi-Wan and Anakin's progress.

"Anakin feels Palpatine in the observation deck. They are having some difficulties getting there."

"Is it wise to encourage her to be so close to Obi-Wan?"

"Brings her peace it does and several times helped us it has."

"I'll follow your lead then."

Asajj was proud when she was able to contain her distaste of Dooku and not allow it to break her connection to what was going on. She watched as Obi-Wan and Anakin lulled Dooku into complacency with lesser forms and then startled him with higher ones.

Then Dooku force shoved Obi-Wan and dropped a railing on him. Asajj had seen Obi-Wan injured before, but not during such a high stakes mission. His unconsciousness, her concern and a blinding headache dropped her out of the meditation. She opened her eyes to find Mace Windu holding her upright while Yoda had his hands on her temples alleviating her headache.

"What see did you?"

Asajj felt a sinking in her gut. She was not Skywalker's biggest fan, but she disliked Dooku and definitely didn't like the image of an unconscious Obi-Wan.

"Dooku knocked out Obi-Wan. Skywalker was holding his own, but my concentration broke."

"No, try to look again you should not. Too much done have you."

Asajj was tired but the idea of just waiting when force knew-

"Meditate Master Windu and I must. Let know of anything hear we do."

Asajj staggered over to her couch. _Be alright Anakin_, she thought and decided a nap was the only solution. Warriors slept when they could and she was very tired…

She was groggy when a planet wave of sensation woke her again. This alerted her to a message on her comm.

"Turn on holo you must."

Asajj wondered why Yoda would take the time from his meditation to tell her this but complied. Footage of _half _of Grievous' vessel crashing through the sky met her eyes. She cautiously tried reaching with the force only to feel Yoda's presence gently push her back.

"So far Skywalker seems to be angling for controlled crash. A close-up of the cockpit reveals Skywalker, General Kenobi and Chancellor Palpatine. All seem to be well."

Asajj let herself feel relief for one second and then frowned at the screen. _Half a ship? A controlled crash? Only Skywalker! We may love our masters with the same fervor but I do not cause nearly as much trouble! _

Her eyes were glued as the ship came down. She let out a breath she didn't know she had held in. Then she frowned. _Skywalker, Obi-Wan and Palpatine. Where's Dooku? _

She slept again because she knew what she needed to: that Obi-Wan was safe. She woke up later, ravenous, and was making her way through just about anything and everything edible in her kitchen when there was a knock on her door. Reaching out she felt Obi-Wan's presence. She wondered why he hadn't tried reaching her with the force and groaned mentally. _If he didn't know why he and Anakin 'luckily' got help before he knows now. Why couldn't Yoda just take credit for it? The old one could as easily keep an eye on Obi-Wan as I if he didn't have so much else to do. _

She waved her door open. Obi-Wan came in. She couldn't help giving him an evaluating look though she resisted the urge to use the force. He looked tired and moved slowly.

"Hello Asajj."

"What happened?"

"After I was knocked out unconscious? Anakin killed Dooku."

Asajj's mouth dropped. Usually she held herself to a high level of discipline but this was too shocking even for her.

"That undisciplined Jedi you call a knight defeated _Dooku_?"

"Evidently he gained discipline while I was regrettably unable to see it."

"How distressing."

Obi-Wan was too distracted to get into banter. He seemed troubled.

"Obi-Wan Dooku is dead. The war is almost _over_. Then you and the Jedi can regroup as can Rattatak and I."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "It isn't that simple- or it might be and I'm overly cautious."

"You are not overly cautious."

At that he did smile. "You would know that wouldn't you? Especially lately."

"It was a simple thing to help the Jedi considering my past deeds."

"Only to help the Jedi Asajj?"

She sighed. "To help you as well. I was trying to give lip service to that horrid attachment ideal you follow."

He regained his distracted air.

"Have you spoken with anyone about how things have been here? Politically?"

"No, I have been learning other things."

"Palpatine has been taking on more and more powers. The Council's trust in him has been deeply shaken."

"You think the Sith lord is controlling him?"

"I don't know. Something is wrong."

Asajj frowned. _There is more going on than this. Something more personal. _

"Asajj, you have trusted me in a way you trusted no one since your master. I need to trust you the same way."

She impulsively reached out and took his hands in hers.

"No one shall hear whatever you tell me Obi-Wan. Were Sidious himself to torture me I would take what you tell me to my death."

"I wish I could say I don't need that assurance."

Now he got up and paced. Asajj was alarmed. Obi-Wan made being calm such a priority that when something overcame that calm it had to be very bad.

"Something happened on the _Invisible Hand_ Asajj. I don't know what, you saw me become unconscious, but something did. Anakin is not reacting the way I would think to killing Dooku. He is happy to have beaten Dooku but he is subdued. Being subdued isn't Anakin."

"Have you tried talking with him?"

"He's been off doing things."

"What kind of things?"

Obi-Wan's eyes slid away from her and then she knew. _He knows about Padme. Obi-Wan…_ She walked over to him and stilled his pacing.

"He and I have become a great team, but also," he shook his head, "farther apart. There are things he doesn't tell me that I feel if I knew them…"

"He would be expelled from the order."

Hearing someone else understand his fear made Obi-Wan's eyes glitter and his shoulders slump. He walked over to her couch and sat down with a slump.

"I don't know what to do. I have done my best."

Asajj ran over, sat down and put her hands on his shoulders.

"Your best, Obi-Wan, is superior to anyone else's. Remember what I said to you? I told you I had conquered every enemy I ever faced, including death, except for you. Now look at us. If one wished to be distasteful they could say you conquered me. Skywalker must deal with his own demons. You can only protect him from so much."

"Asajj my duty-"

"You cannot take care of others if you do not take care of yourself."

"I will be frank with you: perhaps the reason we get along so well is that I am not as…unattached as a typical Jedi. Anakin is like a, he is, my brother. I cannot fail him."

Asajj spoke softly, "You also do not wish to fail your father."

Obi-Wan's eyes filled with the same startled expression she must have given him several times. If the situation wasn't so serious she would find it comical. If she had been a dark Jedi it would have been fulfillment of everything she had ever wanted. It would have been what she worked for on Rattatak: Obi-Wan Kenobi totally vulnerable before her.

"Yes," he spoke in the same soft tone. Asajj wished briefly Qui-Gon Jinn would be miraculously alive long enough for her yell at him. Anything beyond that would risk her friendship with Obi-Wan, but she _wanted_ to yell at Obi-Wan's master. Obi-Wan had enough riding on his shoulders: responsibility for the Chosen One, protecting the galaxy from darkness. He didn't need to feel he had to make his dead master proud on top of all that.

"Obi-Wan you are my friend. As my friend, I wish your master was alive. Then he could take this burden from you and I could scream at him for placing it."

"Asajj that isn't necessary."

Asajj tilted her head. _Something_ about his bearing pointed to something deeper. Her eyes narrowed as she remembered earlier thoughts she had had about this topic. Thoughts she could no longer leave unvoiced.

"It was his dying wish wasn't it? Was that all he said? _Did he not say anything to you_?"

Obi-Wan's eyes turned that painful grey.

"Asajj that has no relation-"

Asajj's thoughts were confirmed. She really wanted to _talk_ with Qui-Gon Jinn now. _How could he do this to Obi-Wan? How could he not see that such thoughtlessness would hurt? _

"He didn't tell you. Nothing of you- only of Skywalker. You loved your master with all your heart and his only words were for Skywalker. No wonder you feel you have to earn his approval."

Obi-Wan moved away from her with a speed she hadn't seen since they had been enemies. Thankfully she was still quick too. She barred her doorway.

"Get out of my way Asajj. I will speak with you later."

"No, we will speak now."

His eyes filled with a fury that almost made her quail. Asajj dug her fingers into the doorway and now knew something her ex-superiors didn't know. Maybe Dooku had known it because he had originally wanted to get Obi-Wan…. Obi-Wan angry, truly angry, was a dangerous thing to behold. Even during their most heated battles he had never looked at her like he did now. Asajj had exposed a vulnerability at his core. Something he had hid from the Council, from his padawan and perhaps even himself.

"Get out of my way."

"You would not let me walk away from facing the wrongness of enjoying killing Kirske. I will not let you walk away from this. When is the last time anyone cared for you Obi-Wan? The other Jedi carried the future on their shoulders once the war started, but you did long before that."

Being angry like this wasn't Obi-Wan. Already the calm he had at his core was asserting itself.

"I am only doing my duty like any Jedi."

"No other Jedi has had to train the Chosen one under a burden."

"I am not angry with Qui-Gon: Anakin had to be trained. The Council was not set this task by the force: it is mine."

"Of course you are not angry. You only risk falling on the sword of perfectionism which has served you so well."

Obi-Wan and her locked eyes and he was the one to look away. He walked back to the couch and fell into it. Asajj knew he was not leaving and went to make tea. She brought the water to a boil as quickly as she could without burning herself- Obi-Wan would take that as an excuse to dutifully help her and leave the conversation aside-and made the tea. She placed the cup in his hands and made sure he could hold it without dropping it.

"Asajj…now is not a good time for me to focus on this. It is-"

"Obi-Wan if I think you are going to say 'duty' I will force shut your mouth."

"I have a point about not being able to deal with this now."

Asajj groaned. "Do you not see this is a personal example of a galactic problem? This war keeps the Jedi from fighting the Sith. They face _droids _and _fools _rather than the ones behind them. I realize you must keep the galaxy safe, but look what has happened while you are away. Sidious must be controlling Palpatine- if they succeed the Sith win. As for you, your devotion to Anakin has kept you from the grief you deserved to be able to have time for."

"Asajj it is my failing to not have been able to let go."

"I repeat: you had no _time_ to let go. That is the failing and not you caring. Your care brought me back Obi-Wan. You say I am like Skywalker: did it not occur to you that your care is all that has kept him in the order?"

"He should not only follow the Jedi because of me."

"He is like me- at least when it comes to knowing what love is before coming to the temple! One who does not know it can deny it. One who knows love cannot deny it. Not because it is a weakness Obi-Wan. If it were where would I be?"

"Asajj, I do not mean this critically…but if you had not become attached in the first place."

"Love has its place Obi-Wan! It is like the force usable for good or ill. You are as much an example as I. Love has kept you from abandoning Skywalker and honed wh-all the good traits he possesses. It also hurts you because it compelled you into a promise."

He looked startled but thoughtful. Then he shook his head and held his temples.

"You are right about needing to consider things and your argument is compelling if nothing else…"

Asajj pulled his hands away and started pouring the force into him as Yoda had done for her whenever that had been. He let out a sigh and leaned back against the couch.

"What else do you have to do today?"

"I should spend some time meditating but I received no specific tasks."

"In other words Yoda and Windu want you to take a break."

"I cannot just sleep."

He proceeded to tell her what he thought he should do instead. Asajj listened with half attention. Nothing on the list was essential and the force confirmed it. She knew what Obi-Wan really needed to do. She just hoped she remembered enough of Ky's lessons to made sure it happened.

"You need to sleep Obi-Wan."

"Asajj," he yawned, "I just told you what I have to do."

"Not to my satisfaction. You need to sleep."

He frowned at her. His eyes were drooping. Asajj poured on another wave before he could fully throw off her sleep suggestion.

"You need to sleep Obi-Wan."

Even the seriousness of the situation couldn't help her from thinking it was a little funny when Obi-Wan passed out. His head hit the hand she hurriedly put under it. She made sure he really was sleeping, and that he was resting comfortably.

That done she knew she was going to have to minimize his annoyance at what she had done. She could take action alone, but thought his annoyance over her breaking into his quarters might overshadow the convenience of having anything he needed accessible in her quarters when he woke up. To that end she determinedly made her way to Yoda's quarters. _He encouraged me to watch over Obi-Wan. I am following that directive if in an unorthodox manner. If he could have patience with Obi-Wan's jerk of a master he can have some with me. _

She waited for Yoda and was glad when she didn't have to wait long.

"Something need do you?"

"Obi-Wan was going to do some idiocy involving meditation and work instead of the sleep he needs after what occurred on the _Invisible Hand_. I took matters into my own hands. I do not want anyone to judge him because he fell asleep in my quarters, or for him to not have access to anything he needs when he awakens."

Yoda blinked at her. "Put Obi-Wan asleep did you? Hmm."

Asajj glared at him. Whatever Yoda was thinking couldn't be relevant to the matter at hand.

"Go to his quarters and retrieve what he needs I will. You make sure sleep he does."

Asajj bowed. Yoda had been helpful. He nodded to her and went off down the hall.


	9. Chapter 9: Decision

Still don't own _Star Wars_.

Decision

Yoda brought back Obi-Wan's things. He gave Asajj a penetrating look. She glared at him.

"Troubled he is. All follow the will of the force can he. All what everyone can do."

Asajj would not betray Obi-Wan's confidence by telling Yoda what they had discussed but she did allow herself the luxury of another glare. Yoda didn't seem bothered by this. She narrowed her eyes.

"You do not seem to mind my partiality to him."

"Ordinarily discouraged it would be, but the will of the force has told me otherwise. Think about the force and trust it more you should."

Asajj folded her arms. Obi-Wan started to wake up. She pushed aside her emotions and sent him back to sleep- _relaxing, dreamless sleep._ Yoda bowed his head.

"Tell him agree with this I do."

"I shall probably have to."

Her prediction was correct. As she was emerging from sleep into wakefulness an irate cry came to her through the force

_"Asajj!" _

_I've made him angry twice in twenty four hours. A feat I never accomplished before. This is perplexing. _

She walked into her living room.

"Good morning Obi-Wan. I had Yoda bring your things for you."

"You got _Master Yoda_'s approval to knock me out?"

"He understood my reasoning and agreed with it. Don't even think I told him what we spoke of. I told him only that you were tired. Do not think you are a failure for needing sleep Obi-Wan."

"You connived with Master Yoda…in fact you seem to have been doing that a lot lately. I felt rather protected, and Anakin and I received help in some interesting situations: communications blackouts, storms…"

"You are my friend. I will do what I must to keep you alive."

"Even sending Master Yoda to my room like a padawan?"

"Even that."

He raised an eyebrow processing this. Then he smiled.

"Knocking me out here knowing you would not be able to lay a compulsion on me which would get me to sleep once I reached my quarters. Gaining Yoda's help so I cannot be angry with you for doing something unsanctioned. Very good strategy my dear. I'm impressed."

"Do you truly mean it this time? You didn't seem very convincing when I held my lightsaber to your throat during that duel on Teth."

"I meant it. I was just trying to make you angry by keeping you distracted."

Asajj almost retorted that his very presence was a distraction. _What a disquieting thought. As much as I trust Obi-Wan it seems odd to tell him that. _

"I have my moments as do you."

"Indeed. We should meet later. I want to hear about what you have been doing."

"That would be agreeable," she smiled as something occurred to her, "so would a match."

"The Separatist forces have been less diverting without you."

Asajj finished her breakfast. She frowned as she remembered how deeply worried Obi-Wan had been the night before. _Skywalker and I are alike. That, and what I have seen, show he could go to the dark side. Yet what can I do about it? Telling Obi-Wan would add more worry to his shoulders. Besides I remember how angry I was when Obi-Wan first made that comparison. Anakin has as much pride as I: he would be insulted and would not listen. Hopefully he is not like me. He is the Chosen One, and more powerful than any Jedi, so his turning would destroy much more than mine did. _She felt a shiver go up her back.

_It is not my concern. I have other things to do than waste my time speaking with people who will not listen. _

She was writing a communication to her subordinates on Rattatak explaining she would be staying on Coruscant for a while when Obi-Wan came to see her again. She owed Obi-Wan too much to leave after seeing him so worried. _I will stay here for a little while longer because I owe him for helping me and then I will go back. How to explain this is difficult but I must stay._ Due to a desire to make sure no one saw her words she had sent, and received, communications from her planet infrequently. Her people were not patient about being separated from her or about some of the actions she was ordering them to take to save their world. Fighting a battle to the death is much faster than healing a planet.

She looked up her communiqué when she sensed Obi-Wan's again too tired presence. She waved her doors open and he walked in. He sat down and stared at the wall. Disquiet came off him in waves.

"What is it? If you can tell me."

"The Council told me to unofficially order Anakin to…report the Chancellor's dealings after the session was over. This right after the Chancellor got Anakin a seat on the Council. They didn't give him the rank of master: a lack with rankled Anakin deeply."

_Skywalker considers Palpatine a friend and that friendship has just bourn a powerful fruit. The Council shows its lack of friendship by denying him the full authority of rank and giving him a mission against the Code. They even make Obi-Wan tell him in private- they knew it was wrong or they would have given the order in session. Having Obi-Wan give the order forces Skywalker to choose between his master and his friend while damaging his friendship with Obi-Wan. Are they trying to push Skywalker into Palpatine's arms and thus the Sith lord? Are they insane? What of Obi-Wan? Do they want to shake his faith too? This why I do not align myself with the Jedi! _

"I tried to explain I was on Anakin's side, but I don't think he believed me."

Asajj frowned. "Palpatine must be the Sith lord's puppet willing or otherwise! The Sith lord knew what the Council would do if presented with such an opportunity to spy on Palpatine."

"I alluded as much when I told Anakin to be aware that something was out of place here. With his understandable lack of faith in me at the moment I don't think he listened."

"Obi-Wan having you do that was objectionable. Why did you do it?"

Obi-Wan shuddered. "Something is deeply wrong Asajj. We have to know what is going on. That and what would my refusal have gained? Disobeying an order from the Council would only create more chaos. I was not trying to hurt Anakin. I tried to tell him but he wouldn't listen."

"You should not have to tell him. He should know. You would never use anyone Obi-Wan."

"Thank you," he said with a smile. Asajj sensed he needed something, anything to take his mind off what was going on. She thought of a spar but he didn't seem in the mood for it. Then she eyed her datapads and brought them over.

"You said you wanted to know what I have been doing Obi-Wan?"

His eyes glowed with curiosity, and she told him.

Asajj didn't have long to enjoy Obi-Wan's presence.

"Grievous has been located on Utapu. I am going to deal with him once and for all."

Asajj nodded. "It makes sense they would send their best."

"Odd. The Council said the same thing."

"They should know it- being all knowing and in tune with the force. Is Skywalker being left here to spy?"

"He is to continue his mission. Must we part on a note of sarcasm?"

"It is part of how we communicate, but not all. May the force be with you Obi-Wan. It had better be because if Grievous kills you I will be solely disappointed."

Obi-Wan swept up one of her hands, gave her an intense look Asajj couldn't read and bowed.

"I wouldn't want to do that. May the force be with you Asajj."

Asajj immediately went back to her research. _With all the research I have been doing I should have a degree in planetary recovery. _She shook her head over this thought and productively spent a few hours researching.

Concentration was hard to keep however. She remembered her conversations with Obi-Wan about the Sith's behavior. _I was but a minion, but I still feel as if I should know what they were planning. I do not. I never was taught that kind of subtlety. Dooku taught me enough to kill Jedi and nothing else. I should have known he would never be my master. I looked for what I desired in the wrong place. Obi-Wan would be a true master. I don't want to be his student, though, I like feeling equal to him. Make it back from Utapu Obi-Wan. It has been far too long since we matched blades. _

She reached out with the force and found him. He was giving instructions to clones and ending with the comment he would make sure to leave droids for them. _He is at Utapu then_. The force tugged at her. With a mental frown she followed it from Obi-Wan.

_Lava flowed around a desolate place. Obi-Wan was calm but she could read the pain his eyes. In vain he tried to reason with Anakin. They fought. _

Asajj was catapulted out of the vision. _Against me I can see but against Obi-Wan! Skywalker you_

_fool! Can't you see the pain in his eyes? I would NEVER have attacked Ky. _

Pain and rage swirled in her eyes. Asajj's eyes swept her quarters and looked at her lightsabers. _It would be better for him to die than for Obi-Wan_-she grabbed a hold of her thoughts. _No! Skywalker has not chosen that path yet. It would be murder. If he does choose it then I will fight him. _

Asajj reached out to find Skywalker and frowned as she sensed him and Windu in the flight area. _Something's happened._ She went down to the flight bay an area she had avoided so she wouldn't worry anyone she was trying to escape. She saw Windu and Anakin speaking. As she approached she heard "arrest the chancellor".

_Arrest the Chancellor? _She watched Anakin watch Windu, Fisto and several other Councilors

leave in a shuttle.

"Skywalker?"

His eyes held a world of pain.

"What do _you_ want?"

"To speak with you. Let me go with you to the Council room."

He shook and looked in the direction the shuttle had left. He then glared at her with such anger Asajj stepped back.

"_Did you know_?"

"Know what?"

_"Palpatine's the Sith lord_!"

Asajj staggered. It made sense. Horrifying sense. _Palpatine has been in control of everything. Dooku was a pawn. I was a pawn. The whole galaxy has been betrayed, or will be: the Jedi because they fight under a lie. The Separatists because idealists and those powered by greed alike will die. Palpatine will leave nothing that could connect him to his identity as Sidious. _

They went into a lift. Each was grappling with their own thoughts. They entered the chambers. Anakin went and looked out the window. Not towards the Senate but towards the 500 Republica.

_Padme Amidala. _

"What did you want Ventress?"

He was tortured. His pain roiled in the force like hers had when Ky had died. She remembered the vision. _What do I do? _

"Out with it!"

"Skywalker what is causing you so much pain? I am no darksider, not anymore, nor am I a Jedi so you can tell me. What did Palpatine offer you? Is it something having to do with _her_?"

"_Don't speak her name_!"

He was on the verge. His eyes were caught on the 500 Republica.

"I won't mock your love. You must not mock it by choosing darkness. Don't make the decision I did. Honor her by honoring what she loves. Like I should have done for my master. Don't make my mistake."

She was giving up her pride. Baring her soul for the sake of the light, for her master. For Skywalker because he was like her. For Obi-Wan because he didn't deserve any kind of pain let alone what she had seen in her vision.

"Get out of my way Ventress."

"Would you fight Obi-Wan over this?"

"What?"

"It's what I saw coming from this."

"Coming from what? I just need Palpatine's knowledge! Then Padme will live!"

"Turning out of love and not hate? It still won't excuse it- in hers or Obi-Wan's eyes!"

"For Obi-Wan's sake I'll give you one last chance to get out of my way."

"For Obi-Wan's sake I can't let you do this."

"What would _you_ know of _Obi-Wan_?"

Asajj felt shocked with knowledge when he asked that question. The dedication she felt for protecting Obi-Wan. Her admiration and respect for him. How his presence reached her on a level no one else had. All of it added up to an undeniable conclusion.

"I know I love him and what he loves too much to let this happen."

She looked at Skywalker and pulled her shields down. Let him feel the truth of everything she had told him. He recoiled. Then he frowned.

"You don't understand. _You can't_."

Asajj sought the force; sought the light. What she got was hard to follow.

"You have to be there Skywalker. You have to make a, the, choice."

This was what the prophecy was. The Chosen One was not chosen just for power but to choose. She couldn't stand in his way. If she did, somehow nothing would turn out the way it should. She remembered what Yoda had told her.

_'Think about the force trust it more you should.'_

She did the hardest thing she had ever done in her life. She stepped out of Skywalker's way and watched him rush out of the room.

_I hope I did the right thing. Don't make my mistake Skywalker. Don't hurt your master. _

She felt disoriented for a moment. Struck by the feeling that destiny had just rushed past her. Then she steeled herself. She could wait, but at least she could wait productively. _If I could feel destiny here then maybe because the Senate is close I will feel it there too. If Skywalker falls…then there isn't any reason for me not to go after him and save Obi-Wan from having to encounter that vision. _

She sat on the center of the council floor and waited. The air was charged, so charged her body twitched. She called the light to her. _I did my best. For…everything it must be enough. _

She felt everything going towards a moment and pulling her along with it. She wasn't connected to Anakin like Obi-Wan but she knew more than anyone save Anakin or Sidious about what was going on.

"Windu is a traitor," Palpatine pled.  
"Sidious is the traitor," Mace Windu retorted.

Windu screamed as he held off Palpatine's lightening. He and the Sith Lord stood before the ledge of a window. Behind them Asajj saw the other Jedi: two dead and Kit Fisto breathing weakly with a look of horror on his face. Windu pushed Palpatine out to the edge of the ledge. The Sith Lord's face began to distort as his lightening mangled his face from Windu's reflecting of it. Palpatine called to Anakin again. Anakin's eyes traveled between Windu and Palpatine. Asajj wanted to scream but the force held her back. This was not her decision. Windu's sword started to move. Anakin started to move and then he stopped. He stopped.

Palpatine screamed in rage, the rage of someone who has lost when they thought they would win. Windu flew against the wall. Anakin looked at that and then at Palpatine.

"Anakin, I'm giving you one last chance."

Anakin trembled. Tears fell down his face. He looked down and then he looked up. He spoke one word.

"No."

The tears stilled and determination filled his face.

"No."

"So be it!"

Palpatine yelled and reached for a comlink. Asajj felt the force shifting again and horror filled her. If Palpatine used that comlink something horrible was going to happen. Her feeling stopped at the same time Anakin's lightsaber flew through the air like a spear and impaled Palpatine. The comlink flew to Anakin who held it. Palpatine gasped at Anakin.

"You've killed her."

Anakin's eyes filled with tears.

"Maybe, but at least her death will be worth something."

At this Palpatine died. Darkside energy churned through the office. Asajj pulled back so it wouldn't touch her. Pulled back so violently that she was thrown from the meditation. She gasped and drew the light around her. _He did it. Skywalker did it. _

For one of the few times in her life Asajj Ventress was shocked. For the first time she had absolutely no idea what to do.

So she sat and waited.


	10. Chapter 10: Admission

Disclaimer still applies.

Admission

Asajj was sitting, exhausted from opening herself to Skywalker, from feeling destiny shift and from seeing it.

"Ventress?"

Standing there were the remaining Council members, Anakin and Windu among them. Anakin looked at her. He seemed to be as much in a fog as her. _He did the right thing, but the cost is high so high for him. Anakin, I am sorry. _

Despite his exhaustion he walked over, but showed his exhaustion when he fell down beside her with a smack on the floor.

"Skywalker?"

"Masters, I have to tell you something."

"Skywalker, the Senate is in shambles. We have to work to deal with this."

Asajj felt something snap in her then. She wrapped her arms around Anakin and glared at Windu. Anakin leaned against her like a person seeking shelter from a storm.

"He chose correctly and saved the galaxy. He gave up his very life for you. You. Will. Listen."

To her surprise she felt a hand touch her cheek. She looked to see Anakin smile at her but it was the saddest smile she had ever seen.

"Thank you. Not just for now, but for before. Whatever happens," he said. Then he stood back up and faced the masters. She joined him.

"I saw Padme die in a vision giving birth to my child. He offered me a way to save her and I turned it down."

Mace Windu hit his seat with a smack similar to Anakin's backside hitting the floor a moment ago.

"Please. Whatever you do to me- save her."

Windu put his head in his hands. Silence ruled the room. He took in a breath. The force staggered as all the Council members sought strength.

"Very well. I will send someone for her. Go back to your quarters until we call for you."

Anakin looked at the Council members.

"Thank you," he said bowing his head. Then he looked up. "Two things. One: Obi-Wan didn't know so don't blame him. Two: give my council seat to Asajj. She was the one who stopped me."

He fled from the room. Asajj went to join him. Sympathy for him filled her.

"Ventress we will want to speak to you later as well."

Asajj nodded but something kept her. Something bothered her. _The Senate is in shambles but not alright anarchy. No one in their right mind would believe the Jedi attacked for nothing than the best reasons. How was Sidious going to make the Senate believe his lies? Even he couldn't brainwash that many people at once. Let alone the whole republic! _

"Search Palpatine's office."

"What?"

"He had to justify what he wanted to have happen in his office- dead Jedi and turned Skywalker. To explain he would need proof. I don't know what, but there has to be something!"

Mace looked at her. His eyes bore through her and then he nodded.

"Very well."

Asajj heard holo images come on line and realized other Council members had sensed a disturbance in the force and were calling in. She would not let herself check to see if Obi-Wan was one of them. _Anakin is what matters now. Obi-Wan would understand. _

"Send someone for Padme. If you don't you're just as corrupt as I ever thought you were."

No one protected her after Ky's death. She would not let Anakin be alone. Padme would live and Anakin would be forgiven if she had any say. She realized what was keeping her on her feet was the force itself. Determination, not desperation. Love, not anger.

"Padme?"

Yes, Obi-Wan was here.

"She is in danger Obi-Wan. Anakin sees her dying."

"Masters we must take her in. She has done a lot for the order."

Windu gave Obi-Wan an inscrutable look. Obi-Wan gave one back, but it had some confusion to it.

"Tell us you must what has happened Master Windu, but right is Ventress. Remember our obligations to individuals we must and a friend Padme has been. Hmmm. Protective of Skywalker you are Ventress. Call Padme I will. Bring her back to the Temple and then tell us- sense important to what has happened you are."

Yoda went off screen for a moment. Asajj kept her eyes on Windu. _I am coming back. Obi-Wan will be too shocked to properly defend Anakin and he has to be impartial because he is on the Council. I, thankfully, have no such restriction. _

"Waiting for you is Padme. Worried she is. Talk to as well as retrieve her hmm?"

Asajj nodded.

"Fine but at least let Anakin be with her. He has earned that."

"Padme? Anakin?"

Asajj looked at Obi-Wan. Saw that he was vaguely beginning to understand. Somehow she thought the knowledge would come better from her than from Windu.

"He saw her dying in childbirth. Sidious offered him knowledge to prevent it- but Skywalker chose against it."

She didn't have to say who the father of the child was. Obi-Wan looked like he wanted to go somewhere. Asajj wished she was there so she could make sure he didn't do something stupid- like blame himself for everything that had or could have happened. As it was she walked to his hologram.

"Anakin said it was not your fault. Believe it from him if not anyone else."

With that she strode quickly out of the room and for the flight bay. She hopped into a vehicle and went for Padme's apartment. The 500 Republica came quickly and she landed. Waiting for her was a very pregnant Amidala who looked as dazed as Asajj felt, two droids, some handmaidens and a distrusting security man. Asajj hadn't been given the authorization to do this but she was still angry at Windu so she made a change.

"You," pointing to the security man, "bring her here with me. The rest of you get into another vehicle and follow when you can."

Padme drew herself up and the dazed look left her.

"It's alright Typho, everyone- stay here. Yoda said we could trust her. Ms. Ventress I appreciate the offer but I do not want to burden the Jedi."

Asajj looked at her with the force. Padme Amidala was a beacon in the same way Obi-Wan was: she had a deep, abiding love for the light. She was also strong willed and moved with a grace coming from determination. She also was not bearing a child, but children. _Anakin must have been so distracted by the darkness he didn't notice._

Padme got in beside Asajj. Her brown eyes met Asajj's frankly.

"Thank you. I don't know how you came to be Anakin's friend but I am grateful."

"I wasn't. Not originally. Obi-Wan is persuasive."

"Can you tell me anything? About what happened?"

"Anakin killed Sidious. Then he told the Council about you two- and your offspring."

"I hope they won't judge him too harshly. I will be recalled, and I don't mind, but it is him I'm worried about."

"I hope so as well."

They spent the rest of the trip in silence. Asajj pulled the speeder in. She knew who, and where, to bring Padme. She threw a shield around Padme so no one would sense the children or their father.

"Asajj? Senator Amidala?"

"Bant, be the compassionate person I know you are."

She took the shield down. Bant stared at Padme. Asajj's grip on Padme tightened. If Bant would not be compassionate Asajj would argue for her to be. The Mon Calamari took in a deep breath.

"If you could please come over here Senator? What is the problem exactly?"

"Anakin had a vision of her dying."

She felt Bant's attitude shift fully to compassion then.

"Then we must make sure that doesn't happen."

The Mon Calamari examined the senator.

"_Asajj!" _

It was Anakin. She sent back reassurance. Bant finished her examination and looked at Padme and Asajj.

"Whatever Anakin saw it's nothing medical."

Asajj looked Padme. The Senator was calm but Asajj could tell she needed more strength.

"Come on."

"Asajj."

"Bant, you haven't received orders have you? Neither have I. All I know is that Anakin needs her and vice versa."

"Alright."

Asajj brought Padme to Anakin's room. The two looked at each other in shock. Asajj knew she wasn't needed here for the moment, but she didn't know what would come so she decided to get some rest for now.


	11. Chapter 11: Births

Wished I owned _Star Wars_ but don't sigh…

Births

As usual when something happened, the first person at her door was Obi-Wan. He was tired but joy also shined from him. He walked over and pulled her close.

"Thank you," he said his voice filled with emotion.

Asajj thought of her feelings for him and then quickly placed them aside. _He is not Anakin or me when it comes to attachment. I cannot expect him to be. _

"He listened to me because I spoke for you. No more or less."

_He listened because I spoke for the light you taught him to value and because I'm in love with you. You don't need to know the love part. _

He smiled then. It was a radiant smile. Asajj smiled to see it, but was surprised. _I thought he was going to blame himself for everything. Did someone speak sense to him? _

"The Council would like to see you. The Council _includes_ Anakin."

"They will still let him be a Jedi?"

"He ultimately acted in the light. It is enough. That and the ban on attachment has been overturned though discipline to keep it from turning to evil is being discussed."

"Then perhaps all will be well for him and Padme then. What of you- I was predicting you would be blaming yourself for his choices and almost choices."

Obi-Wan gave her a nervous look.

"About that. Yoda smacked me with his stick."

"For something so obvious you deserved it."

_Though if Yoda tries it in my presence that stick will disappear up one of his bodily orifices. _

"I also…received other counsel in front of the Council."

"Who or what could do what that stick could not?"

"The spirit of my master…he appeared from the netherworld of the force."

Asajj was happy for the endearing look of joy Obi-Wan had. She had her own concerns though.

"Is he still here," she asked calmly. Obi-Wan smiled.

"He apologized for making my choice of Anakin as a padawan a burden instead of a joy. He said he was proud of me. That I was, in his objective judgment, the best master in the temple."

_I will only yell at him somewhat then. Obi-Wan is too forgiving. _

"He left for the moment. Please don't attack him Asajj."

"What gave you the idea I could attack a ghost?"

Obi-Wan tilted his head and his eyes widened.

"Anakin says Padme has gone into labor."

Asajj swept out with him and they rushed to the healing rooms. What followed was a time of pacing and wondering. Then Obi-Wan's eyes swept to the room Padme was in. He grabbed Asajj and pulled her with him.

What met her eyes was a vision that should be pedestrian: people had babies all the time. Yet there was something sweet about this. Both Anakin and Padme were joyful. Clearly Anakin's vision had not happened. Destiny had been changed. Asajj was glad to see it but puzzled why she was here. _I saved Anakin, so he must be thanking me with this sight. It will do for a gift. _Both parents smiled at her. They each held a child.

"Asajj, you knocked sense into me. Metaphorically of course. For that, well…I was wondering if you'd like to be an honorary member of my family. I've a brother but I'd like a sister too."

It was horribly sentimental but Asajj nodded. Somehow taking a new family member seemed the last act of closing the story on her past: no more loneliness for her.

"Okay, then the kids need to meet their relatives then. Get over here Obi-Wan. This is Luke. See you hold him like this. Obi-Wan?"

Asajj felt something happen. It was like the sensation in the Council Chamber but filled with light. Obi-Wan was smiling at Luke and looking at Luke as if there was no one else in the room. Anakin groaned.

"There goes my plan of training him! I guess I can't blame him for recognizing quality though. He is looking at the best master in the temple."

Obi-Wan looked up at Anakin distractedly. Padme started laughing.

"What?"

An infant fist burrowed itself in Obi-Wan's beard. Obi-Wan gently extracted it.

"My beard is a part of my face little Luke."

"Lesson one," Anakin chimed. Obi-Wan looked confused but then his eyes widened.

"No, I couldn't. Not _another_ one."

"You know you really love the excitement Master."

"Excitement you call it? Well, who am I to deny the will of the force? Asajj want to meet my future padawan?"

Asajj hesitantly took Luke. He smiled at her with a love so pure it held her attention. She murmured promises to him in her native tongue: no one would harm him or think of it or she would do things to them she couldn't think of in front of a force sensitive infant.

"Asajj Ventress gooey?"

Padme understood.

"No Anakin. I don't think that's it. Here Obi-Wan, meet Leia."

Obi-Wan held Leia and smiled at her.

"You look like your mother. Hopefully you have _her_ personality."

"Hey!"

Asajj took Leia and Leia looked at her seriously. Asajj murmured the same promises to her. Anakin settled both children in Padme's arms and looked at Asajj.

"Have you asked her yet Master?"

"Anakin, I was getting to it when-"

"Don't blame that on us Obi-Wan. For someone who is good with words-"

"Anakin, we're in the middle of a war. Yes, the Senate and Jedi situation is stabilized but the Separatists haven't come to the table yet!"

"What?"

"You didn't tell her that part either? What were you two talking about?"

Obi-Wan looked embarrassed. Asajj took pity on him.

"He was following up on discussing something which was on his mind earlier," she said diplomatically. Not diplomatically enough because Anakin's face fell.

"Master, Obi-Wan, I'm sorry."

"Qui-Gon is right Anakin. We both had things, logical and elsewise, we needed to let go of. Don't take them back."

"Okay," he said as Padme squeezed his arm sympathetically.

"As Anakin alluded to things have been mostly stabilized. Bail Organa is now Chancellor. Alderaan's credibility as a peaceful planet and the revelation of Sidious was playing both sides has led the Separatist leaders to agree to peace talks. Padme will be the liaison between the order and the Republic to make sure the Jedi don't fall out of connection with the Republic again."

Asajj nodded her congratulations and Padme nodded back with a smile.

"There is something of a private matter I wanted to speak with you about, but I'm not sure when to discuss it."

Anakin rolled his eyes.

"Great. You can defend the galaxy, and deal with me, but you can't-"

"Anakin!"

"Anakin, Obi-Wan's really sensitive about this. Leave him alone."

"I suppose so Padme, but if he doesn't deal with it soon I'm staging an intervention."

Obi-Wan huffed and left the room. Asajj followed him and Anakin to the Council room.

"Report can you please give?"

"Yes, Master Yoda," Asajj said and briskly gave a report of what happened in the Council room. She omitted the part about loving Obi-Wan. _They don't need to know about that. Even with the attachment rule gone Obi-Wan may not feel that way for me. _

"Great wisdom did you show. Not of the traditional kind, but out of balance with the light have we become as an order. Something wish to give you do I."

Yoda hobbled over to her. He held out a box to her. She took it and looked inside. Her eyes widened. _Ky's lightsaber._

"I can't take this. I am not a Jedi."

"Denied darkness? Fought for light? That what the Jedi stand for. Proud of you would your master be and want you to have it."

Asajj took the lightsaber. It felt so _right_ in her hand that she had to hold back tears. She clipped the weapon to her belt.

"Changes are the order making. Long overdue they are. Helping us are two masters: Master Skywalker and Master Kenobi."

_Obi-Wan a nontraditonalist? I guess Anakin's near fall, and what we spoke of, started something._

"Onerous task figuring out what should be done. Much work for two masters. Three better would be. Eleven council members we have. Need one more we do. Promise always agree and implement changes suggested the council does not, but meditate we will. Meditate and not argue. Make that distinction since important I remember it being."

Asajj remembered her irate attitude at their arguing.

"Aware we are that Rattatak first priority must be for you. Since already one member part time will we have another we can. Need for bright light there is. Very bright light in you Ventress."

"_What_?"

"Obi-Wan pave the way for this were you supposed to."

"He was busy keeping her from wanting to kill me or Qui-Gon," Anakin said dryly.

"Hmm see that being a problem I could. What say you hmm?"

Asajj blinked. _They would honor my commitment to Rattatak? Even so how would this work? I have no rank. _

"Even if I were to agree when would I start? I am not even recognized as a padawan."

"Make that argument did Obi-Wan when come to us with you he did."

"I have not passed a knight's trials?"

"The trials. Hmm."

"Master, Ventress passed the trials when she faced Dooku," Obi-Wan argued, "She did not defeat him, but her discipline and skill were formidable. She also faced the darkness within herself here."

"Then a knight you are at least."

Asajj narrowed her eyes at him.

"You're playing with me."

"Only helping you to see what we already have."

"Asajj, you revealed my darkness to me at the price of your pride and you followed the force's will to let me face Palpatine."

"In the eyes of this Council a master you are. Join us you may, or may not, depending on how leads the force."

The force was encouraging her but Asajj was confused.

"How would I be a part time member?"

"Holo conference from Rattatak could you. Spend some time on Coruscant though you would need to."

_To help both Rattatak and the Jedi. It feels right. Still, I should speak with whoever the other part time member is so I can make sure I do this fairly. _

"I accept with the proviso I can make sure I am working at least as hard as the other part time member. Is that you Skywalker?"

Anakin started laughing. He waved off a hand as he tried to get calm.

"No, I'm full time. I'm sorry: this is so priceless. You're as clueless as he is!"

"Anakin, manners! I am the other part time member. I would be more than willing to work with you on the role."

For some reason this set Anakin off again. Asajj was going to save Obi-Wan the trouble of another snap at Anakin by doing it herself. Then she noticed the whole room was beginning to feel rather amused. The notable exception was Obi-Wan. He felt embarrassed.

"Perhaps we can speak about it while our esteemed co-workers discuss other things," he glowered at the room at large and escorted her out. Asajj felt dizzy which was not a disorientation she liked or intended to indulge. She watched Coruscant through the lift as it descended down towards her quarters. She and Obi-Wan traveled through it in silence and continued in silence until they reached her quarters. Then she spun on him.

"You knew they were planning that?"

"Yes, but you were so concerned about me I didn't have time to brief you. I am sorry for the disorientation."

"I do not like being disoriented."

"If you want no other changes I can understand."

He seemed sad. Asajj decided to ask what she had been wondering.

"Why are you only going to be on the Council part time?"

"Don't I deserve a vacation after Anakin? You were the one who told me to take care of myself."

"I think he is right. You will miss the excitement after a while. You are not as sedate a creature as you appear."

"Perhaps. I did have some plans, but I am not sure about them."

"What kind of plans?"

"Anakin's right. I am afraid to say this. Asajj, I do not want to cause you embarrassment but over the course of deliberations over Anakin and the Jedi's future your other reason for confronting Anakin came to light."

_The whole Jedi Council knows I love Obi-Wan. Now what? _

"I responded to this revelation by telling the Council it had a choice. Either reconsider the rules about attachment or lose two Jedi. Anakin to be true to his love for his family and me to be true to my feelings for you."

She stared at him. He held out a hand to her.

"I've done enough for the galaxy. I am determined to be at least a little selfish."

She reached out and took his hand.

"Then I will have to help you my dear Obi-Wan."

"I would have no other my darling."

"Does that master of yours know how unorthodox his padawan intends to be?"

"He knows and approves. He's unorthodox himself so he is rather pleased I'm continuing the tradition. He wants to meet you, but he didn't want to annoy you."

"I suppose I could stand him for a little while."

"Then I am glad to make your acquaintance Ms. Ventress."

Qui-Gon Jinn was edged in blue but otherwise unremarkable for being a ghost. He walked over to her.

"I asked for Obi-Wan's forgiveness for placing a burden on him. I was foolish enough, for reasons not having to do with Obi-Wan, to almost flout the will of the force and not take him for my padawan. I was afraid he would make the mistake of not taking Anakin. Still, I should have trusted the force, and him, and confined my remarks to other subjects. Such as how proud of him I am."

"Master, you made that feeling clear. Repeatedly. In front of the whole council."

"You were risking your future by raising false charges of incompetence and negligence. I was compelled to refute those charges."

Seeing Obi-Wan this embarrassed was amusing. As with Bant, and his other friends, Asajj was not about to pass up a chance to gather intelligence.

"Please elaborate Master Jinn."

"Master, don't you dare-"

"Padawan I can't have your future wife and mother of your children hating me now can I?"

"Wife," Asajj asked.

"Children," Obi-Wan whispered.


	12. Chapter 12: Testimony

I especially wished I owned Asajj, Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan but I don't.

I'm a fan of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan mush, so even though this story is Asajj/Obi-Wan I couldn't resist having it here. It turned out to be one of my favorite chapters to write Maybe I'll post a story focusing on that…

Testimony

"I shouldn't have given those things away," he didn't seem too sorry before continuing, "Watch this as a peace offering for my mistakes with Obi-Wan please Ms. Ventress."

_Anakin knelt before the Council. His head was down and his position reminded Asajj of when she had been expecting punishment. Obi-Wan surged from his seat to his ex-padawan and placed his hands on Anakin's shoulders. _

_ 'The fault was not Anakin's but mine. I did not train him well enough and neglected him when I should have paid attention. If he had had another master this situation would not have happened. Please don't punish him for what was my error.' _

_ Anakin looked up at his master with a look of horror on his face. He jumped back up and grabbed Obi-Wan by the shoulders. _

_ 'No, I made my own decisions. Your training kept me from ruining everything, and as for Padme I disagreed with the order- it was not you!' _

_ 'A teacher is responsible for his student. You should have felt you could come to me. You did not. I failed you.' _

_ Anakin turned to the council with anguished eyes. _

_ 'It was me- not him! Any mistakes I thought of making I knew were mistakes because Obi-Wan trained me well. You don't have to do anything to me- this is worse than any punishment you could give me. Someone get some sense into him. Please! One of you do it or I'm getting Asajj!' _

_ 'Ms. Ventress could do a fine job doing so, but I would like that task myself. Especially given Master Kenobi's remark about a teacher being responsible for his student.' _

_ The presence of a dead Jedi sent the room in an uproar. Poor Kit Fisto, who had been released temporarily from the healing quarters, thought he had died and gone into the force. Only Yoda seemed unsurprised._

_ 'Master," Obi-Wan cried. Qui-Gon gave him a smile, but it was one filled with concern. _

_ 'Yes, Obi-Wan. I am sorry I couldn't come sooner.'_

_ 'It wasn't your responsibility," Obi-Wan countered gruffly. Anakin looked between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. He gave Qui-Gon a pleading look. Qui-Gon gave him a reassuring nod that Obi-Wan, in his depression, didn't notice._

_ 'Learned how to manifest himself in the force has Qui-Gon. What the Sith wanted but went about wrong they did.' _

_ 'Very much so, but that isn't the issue right now. Master Kenobi's competence is. I would ask for the right to defend him.' _

_ 'Granted that is. Face Obi-Wan himself you must to do that I sense.'_

_ 'Masters,' Obi-Wan spoke stiffly, 'this is a very serious topic.' _

_ Qui-Gon gave him a serious look. _

_ 'Indeed. You give the prosecution and I will give the defense.' _

_ Obi-Wan strived to ignore his teacher and spoke evenly. _

_ 'I viewed Anakin as a burden initially and did not give him the proper attention. I let inappropriate emotions distract my focus- my inability to suitably grieve over my master made me negligent. I was not a proper model of letting go of attachment and did not teach him to do it well himself. I was ignorant of his feelings for his mother and negligent of their effect on him. The same is true for his feelings about Padme. In addition, I did not cultivate an atmosphere of trust in which he could approach me with his feelings so resolution could take place. Instead he went to Palpatine. I should have never allowed it. I was blind.' _

_ 'The charges then are distraction by burden and grief, negligence, caring for your padawan too much, caring for your padawan too little and lack of sight?' _

_ 'That is correct. You trained me well master. I failed to enact the lessons.' _

_ 'Does the prosecution have any more remarks?'_

_ 'Only that I did not competently fulfill a direct order from my master and from the force making my failure more severe.' _

_ 'If that is all? Anakin, whatever we say next do not take it personally.'_

_ 'If it'll get his eyes to turn blue again instead of grey I don't care what you say.'_

'_Thank you. The first charge: seeing your padawan as a burden. Obi-Wan, Master Kenobi, under what circumstances did your apprenticeship with Anakin Skywalker begun?' _

_ Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes. _

_ 'I was given his charge by my master: you.' _

_ 'To your knowledge, how padawans are usually chosen?' _

_ 'Master-'_

_ 'Answer the question.' _

_ 'A master chooses a padawan by-'_

_ 'You said 'a master chooses'. Which master?' _

_ 'The potential padawan's master.' _

_ 'Not the master of the master of the potential padawan? This is a Council session so answer the question.' _

_ 'No.' _

_ 'The answer to the question is no?' _

_ 'Yes. Anakin-'_

_ 'I care about you too master. Be quiet.' _

_ 'Thank you Anakin. I would argue to the council that since Master Kenobi was not given a choice in the matter that he was, in fact, given a burden. I further recommend his master be instructed to ask his forgiveness and repair any damage which resulted. This can be done after this current matter is fully decided. Master Yoda, is this acceptable?' _

_ 'Acceptable it is. Give that look do not Master Kenobi. Continue Master Jinn.' _

_ 'Thank you. The second charge: being distracted from teaching the padawan due to lack of skill in releasing grief and attachment to his master. Master Yoda, perhaps you can help me here. When is the last time a padawan lost his master under the situation Master Kenobi did?' _

_ 'Hundreds of years ago it was.' _

_ 'I object!' _

_ 'Problem have you Master Kenobi?' _

_ 'How I lost my master is of no relevance. Others have lost their masters and not reacted so poorly to a padawan.' _

_ 'There is faulty reasoning in that. Master Yoda, was it common for padawans to lose their masters before the Clone Wars? Furthermore, I believe the established rarity of how the accused gained his padawan has bearing here. The accused was literally promoted from padawan to a knight with a padawan overnight. Is this normal?' _

_ 'Never before happened has it.' _

_ 'I should have been able to handle it. I had one of the best masters in the order!' _

_ 'The truth of that is questionable. Council members think of when you lost your masters- how long did it take for you to properly meditate on the matter? Master Windu, you are seen as the expert on enforcing the nonattachment directive. Do you think a padawan who takes longer than a day to mourn his master is excessively attached?' _

_ 'The master-padawan bond is close. It has to be, and I recall the bond between this master and his padawan being very close. A day of meditation would not be sufficient especially considering the padawan knew he was being elevated to knight and had a padawan of his own to consider.' _

_ 'I should have released my feelings after that point. The Council thought I could handle it.' _

_ 'The Council was being insensitive Master Kenobi. They put the worry of placing the Chosen One in the order over the health of his master. A mistake. Don't argue against that, but I will take a vote if you insist. Preliminarily though I believe the council owes the accused an apology. Its actions, or lack thereof, caused him not to take his feelings seriously and also showed his padawan a bad example. We can discuss this more with the accused after this matter is taken care of,' Master Windu retorted. _

_ Obi-Wan was looking very uncomfortable. He gritted his teeth. _

_ 'I don't think that will be necessary.' _

_ 'Leave that up to us. Master Jinn?' _

_ 'Ah yes where was I? You need to stop interrupting me Obi-Wan. The third charge: negligence. May I have permission to ask Knight Skywalker about this? I also reserve the right to consult this council since I think Master Kenobi might raise the issue of Knight Skywalker's impartiality.' _

_ 'Agree to that we will.' _

_ 'Knight Skywalker looking back on your padawan time with the accused did you ever feel neglected?' _

_ 'No. I had to be really careful from the first day if I wanted to do anything. Master Kenobi always let me know what was wrong. I knew what was wrong and what wasn't. If I was going to do something bad I had to sneak out when he was sleeping or busy- and by busy I mean busy. My master never took any time for fun unless his friends, who are also masters, would drag him off. In fact, if anything, I felt smothered- no make that mothered. Can that comment go into the 'not understanding the padawan's need for his mother' part?' _

_ 'It will go into the record.' _

_ 'There's a record,' Obi-Wan snapped. _

_ 'There has to be! I'm enjoying this," Kit chimed in. Obi-Wan glowered at him. _

_ 'I believe that the charge of negligence has been effectively countered. Unless Master Kenobi has any questions for the Council?' _

_ 'That won't be necessary.' _

_ 'Moving along then. Forth charge: caring for the padawan too much. This, unfortunately, has truth but I feel extenuating circumstances will prove sufficient for a pardon especially if it is the only charge with some truth to it. Master Kenobi, were you aware that your padawan was breaking the code of nonattachment with Padme Amidala?' _

_ 'I had my suspicions but I did not follow up on them or bring them before the council.' _

_ 'Would you explain why?' _

_ 'I didn't want him kicked out of the order.' _

_ 'Is that all?' _

_ 'Padme brought him peace. A peace my lessons failed to do.' _

_ 'The charge is proven then. One last question: why didn't you want your padawan expelled from the order?' _

_ 'I didn't want him to suffer embarrassment or be vulnerable to the dangers of facing the galaxy without the order…I also worried for the order losing such a great warrior. Forgive me Anakin. You would have been happier if I'd told them.' _

_ 'I would've been on the dark side or dead master. Sidious wanted me remember?' _

_ 'I move Master Kenobi be pardoned from this charge on the basis of the reasoning he employed when making his decisions. I recognize he did violate the code by not reporting his suspicions but ask the charge be dropped if the other charges are also acquitted. Masters in the field must make hard choices, and if the accused is proven to be good master, then I move a pardon be given on those grounds. The idea of the chosen one being warped is horrific. Neither can the effect of not having the Chosen One fighting in the Clone Wars if he was expelled be overvalued either. _

_Now moving onto the next charge: caring for the padawan too little. I wonder the reasoning of having this charge given the previous one, but will address it. First, I would like to remind the council that the charge of negligence, which seems related to this one, was acquitted. I would move it be dropped as well.' _

_ 'Agree with that we will unless Knight Skywalker has anything to add.' _

_ 'I wouldn't say someone was like a father and brother to me if they didn't care about me.' _

_ 'Moving onto the last charge of blindness. Given Master Kenobi's reasoning regarding Padme Amidala I move that she is not acceptable evidence for blindness. Are the examples of your padawan's mother and Palpatine the cases you are basing this charge upon Obi-Wan?' _

_ 'Yes.' _

_ 'First, your padawan's mother. The order usually takes children from their parents when they are too young to remember them. Was this the case with Master Kenobi?' _

_ 'Yes.' _

_ 'Thank you Master Windu. Therefore how could Master Kenobi be expected to understand something for which he had no frame of reference?' _

_ 'I should have thought about how I cared for you.' _

_ 'Your feelings of inadequacy regarding letting me go made you think your caring was a mistake. Am I right?' _

_ Obi-Wan nodded. _

_ 'You were, perhaps, trying to protect your padawan from feelings you saw were a mistake? As well as getting him to follow the code?' _

_ 'Yes.' _

_ 'Blindness comes from lack of sight Obi-Wan. It seems to me you were seeing perfectly by the lenses the order gave you to use. Does anyone disagree? No? Moving on to the Palpatine case. Did anyone on this Council see Palpatine was the Sith lord? In the latter days of the war was the accused not commanded to order his former padawan to associate with the Sith lord?' _

_ 'See it none did and yes given that order was Master Kenobi. Blind he was not.' _

_ 'Any more charges Master Kenobi? I would rather get them all out now, but I will do a retrial if I have to.' _

_ 'It took someone else for Anakin to understand what he was thinking of was wrong. If I was a good master that shouldn't have been necessary.' _

_ 'Did you know this someone else?' _

_ 'Yes.' _

_ 'How?' _

_ 'Must I recount the whole story? This….event has taken up more than enough time!' _

_ 'I will recount the needed aspects: Asajj Ventress was rescued and brought back to the light through your efforts Obi-Wan. If you had not helped her she would not have been here to speak with Anakin. Also, you were on Utapu. Even I have not figured out how to not only manifest myself two places at once but also do two things at once! Anything else padawan? I will take that silence as a 'no'. Remember I do reserve the right for a retrial if you express any more doubts after this. Now regarding the excessive attachment charge? How votes the Council? Master Windu?' _

_ 'On behalf of the Council I say Master Jinn's argument of extenuating circumstances plus the service record of the accused cause a full pardon. Not guilty.' _

_ 'The accused is not guilty Obi-Wan. You owe yourself an apology.' _

_ 'Master, you've made your point. Enough, please.' _

_ 'Not quite yet. Now that the trial is over, I believe I need to repair the damage which the forced choice of apprentice caused.' _

_ 'No, please, not in front of the Council!' _

_ 'Did Obi-Wan and Anakin have to spend a lot of time in front of the Council during Anakin's padawanship?' _

_ 'Yes, quite a lot.' _

_ 'Objection! Master Fisto isn't a relevant witness to answer that question!' _

_ 'Very well Obi-Wan. Master Yoda? Master Windu? I see two nods. Given the embarrassment a good master, which you have been proved to be my padawan, would suffer from being called in front of the Council frequently I think the master responsible should have to make amends in front of the council. Knowing how, sometimes ridiculously, self-sacrificing Obi-Wan is I want to ask for your forgiveness first Anakin. I meant to train you but the force had other plans. Please forgive me for deciding your future instead of leaving it to the force.' _

_ 'When I wasn't a whiny brat I liked being Obi-Wan's padawan.'_

_ 'Obi-Wan I commanded a choice that should have been between you and the force. I should have spent the time telling you how much you mattered. How can I possibly earn your forgiveness?' _

_ 'Stopping embarrassing me in front of the Council would be a good start.' _

_ 'Alas, there are some other things I have to say as part of my repairing the damage sentence. Obi-Wan you judge yourself too harshly. That is why these things must be said in front of the Council.' _

_ Obi-Wan sighed heavily. 'Yes Master.' _

_ 'Take your time padawan. You never got a chance to grieve. You can definitely take time to forgive.' _

_ 'I don't need it. You were only doing what you thought was right.' _

_ 'My precious padawan. You have been nothing but light.' _

_ 'Master!' _

_ 'Given that response I think I'm going to have to ask the Council's help to make sure you don't bolt while I say the rest. Obi-Wan, I am very proud of you. You have stayed true to the force, saved many, successfully –and do not dispute me on this or I will do a retrial-trained the chosen one and even helped paid the order's debt to Ms. Ventress by helping her back to the light. I could not have asked from more from you as a padawan, a knight or a master. Given all that I would argue I trained the best master in the whole temple. I will tell you more sometime else dear padawan, but I wanted this much for the record. Do you see the truth in what I'm saying?' _

_ 'I am not the best master in the temple,' Obi-Wan countered gruffly. Qui-Gon sighed and then gave him a fond look. _

_ 'I will allow you some latitude on that, but what about the rest?' _

_ Obi-Wan blinked heavily. He nodded. _

_ 'Then, dear padawan, I will take what I can get.' _


	13. Chapter 13: Questions

Almost done playing in this borrowed sandbox for now…

Questions

Asajj blinked upon leaving the force vision. She refocused her attention on Qui-Gon.

"I will forgive you this time. Hurt him again ever and I _will_ protect him."

"Asajj!"

She folded her arms and gave Obi-Wan an implacable look. He blushed.

"I do not need to be coddled- by either of you."

"We seem to feel differently," Qui-Gon said gently, "Accept the feelings, Obi-Wan, or you will continue to feel embarrassment because neither one of us intends to stop. I think Anakin has some things to say as well."

"He is coming public with his family and maintaining a full time Council position. I doubt he has the time."

"Anakin has never allowed 'impossible' to stop him before. I doubt he will now. We will speak again my padawan. May the force be with you."

"With you too my master," Obi-Wan whispered. Then he smiled at her sheepishly.

"Now what?"

"Go get some sleep. I am sure you have neglected it enough to have many hours of it owed to you."

"My dear you should take your own advice. Later there is something I would like to ask you."

Asajj remembered what Qui-Gon had 'let slip' about their future. She grabbed his hand.

"Ask me now."

"I haven't had time to do research, except from what I've heard from Anakin's experience and I hardly count that as representative, so really-"

"Obi-Wan. Ask me."

He raised an eyebrow and then knelt before her. He looked deeply into her soul.

"Will you marry me Asajj?"

"Yes."

There was a knock. She waved the door open. Anakin saw Obi-Wan kneeling and his eyes widened.

"Please tell me I'm not interrupting the question."

"I just asked her."

"Asajj you seem pretty smart so you said yes right?"

"That is a given."

"Well the Council wants to marry you guys here on Coruscant. Chancellor Organa agrees and Representative Amidala-Skywalker –I love being able to say that- agrees too."

Asajj felt Obi-Wan emoting frustration.

"I am not going to let our wedding be used as a publicity stunt."

Anakin waved his hands frantically.

"Okay, that's the cover reason, but I'll tell the truth! Everyone still wants to spoil you."

"Anakin the thought is misplaced. Everyone knows how I _adore_ the press."

"The press won't get anywhere near you two. They'll have to adore you from afar. You two can plan what you want. You can have anything. You can draft anyone- Padme's already volunteered and so has Breha Organa."

Obi-Wan gave Asajj a pleading look. _He has a point about wanting privacy and he is a man who does not pursue frills. Usually I am the same, but for once, I want to be in the spotlight. He is mine and he deserves the whole galaxy adoring him- from a distance of course. _

"You're not going to help me on this are you?"

"Obi-Wan give your friends the big wedding, but we can have what happens be according to what _we_ want."

Asajj could feel Obi-Wan wavering. She knew one more card she could play.

"Come on Obi-Wan. You can plan a _tradition_."

A thoughtful look came into his eyes. He opened his mouth and then shut it.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Out with it," Asajj ordered.

"I want Qui-Gon to marry us."

Asajj knew why he would hesitate to voice this wish. _His master learned secrets my master never had the chance to. He would rather deprive himself of his master to show solidarity with me than enjoy his master's presence. How…Obi-Wan. _

"Qui-Gon Jinn!"

"Asajj, if I may call you so, since Obi-Wan has always been like a son to me I would be honored to be your father-in-law."

"I will accept that. Obi-Wan is too noble to ask you to marry us because of misplaced sentimentality."

_I wish Ky was here. I wish he knew! _She worked to squash any feelings of pain because she knew Obi-Wan would become intractable otherwise.

"Asajj he doesn't have the ability to appear but he _does know_. I sought him out and he is very proud of his padawan."

Asajj closed her eyes and worked to contain her emotions.

"Asajj it's us: I'm your annoying brother, Obi-Wan your fiancé and Qui-Gon like a dad. Don't keep to yourself."

"He is right my dear."

Asajj opened her eyes and met her family's concerned looks.

"Very well," she blinked and then gave Obi-Wan a fiery look.

"You _will_ let Qui-Gon marry us."

Obi-Wan looked amused.

"I have no choice in the matter do I my sweet?"

"Not in this. If you continue to resist I will unleash him and Skywalker on you. You are strong, Obi-Wan, but you can't hold against the three of us."

Obi-Wan looked disgusted.

"Why do I have the feeling I'm going to be hearing that a lot?"

Anakin gave an insolent grin.

"You don't take proper care of yourself. If you object too much I can always bring it up with the Council."

"The Council doesn't seem to be impartial right now," Obi-Wan grumbled.

"Master, no one is impartial about you. Take advantage of it."

"Anakin brings up a good point. You should bilk them for everything they've got."

"Qui-Gon! If this is going to be as big as everyone is insisting then we need to get the peace talks completed first."

"Very well my practical padawan. We can still plan though."

"We?"

"I assume Asajj would like to consult with Padme and Mrs. Organa. Anakin can help you and me research in the archives."

Anakin looked innocent. "You both know research isn't my thing. I'll just go back to the Council and hold down the fort there. Make sure they don't go back to being too stuffy."

Obi-Wan looked at him suspiciously. He could sense something was up. Anakin's refusal was a little too smooth. Asajj looked past Obi-Wan to the look of parental pride on Qui-Gon's face. _He did say in that vision he had more sentimental mush to say than what he did in the Council meeting._ She tried to hold back a snicker as did Anakin. Obi-Wan looked between the two of them and then his head swung around to Qui-Gon. His former master now had an innocent look disturbingly like Anakin's.

"No. Not anymore!"

"What are you objecting to my padawan? I just have some things to discuss with you while we are doing research."

"Qui-Gon you did your job. I'm fine. Really. Living in the moment just like you taught me."

"I want to be certain you stay that way. Come, Obi-Wan."

"Yes Master."

Anakin waited until they were gone to let out the laugh he had been holding in. Asajj's lips twitched upward.

"We should get to work or Obi-Wan will be displeased."

"Yeah, Obi-Wan doesn't take praise well."

"Qui-Gon wishes to cure him of that."

"May the force be with him then. He's gonna need it. See you Asajj."

As they went their separate ways Asajj found herself feeling rather lighthearted. _Being this way all the time would be foolish, but I think I'll enjoy it for now. _


	14. Chapter 14: Beginnings

Last chapter playing in the wondrous Lucas creation which is _Star Wars…_

Beginnings

The Separatists were shaken by the truth behind the war but were still stubborn- for a variety of reasons. The idealists wanted to make sure the Republic would change before they rejoined it. They also argued they hadn't been out of line given the Republic was corrupt because Sidious had been controlling it. The greed seekers didn't want to be punished at least and wanted concessions at worst. This led to the talks stretching out. It also led to Obi-Wan and Asajj having plenty of time to plan their wedding. It was, Asajj mused, a good time for both of them. _I am enjoying spending time with some people: Bant, Padme, Breha Organa, Luminara & Ayala. Obi-Wan is enjoying time with his master- and others when they can pry him away from Qui-Gon. _

Eventually the Separatists and the Republic came to agreement. The media happily closed the book on that and turned their attention to another matter.

Asajj and Obi-Wan were not ones for frills. They left their quarters wearing what they would on any day. They walked through the temple like they would on any day.

What was unusual was what happened once they got into the main hallway of the temple. It was packed except for a clear path going down the center. The eleven members of the Council, plus Obi-Wan's friends, stood at intervals along the edge of the path. At sighting Obi-Wan and Asajj the Jedi lifted their lightsabers high and lit the blades. A loud cheering filled the hallway as her subordinates from Rattatak sang a traditional wedding chant. Asajj looked up the long aisle and saw Qui-Gon waiting for them. She felt a slight pang. She didn't begrudge Obi-Wan his master, but she still foolishly wished for hers.

"_Asajj, I never left you."_

She started.

"Asajj?"

"I'm fine Obi-Wan."

She walked with him under the lit lightsabers. Some of the Jedi smiled, and others were serious, as befitted their individual personalities. As they came up the aisle Master Yoda came out in front of them. Both Obi-Wan and Asajj wanted to make sure love would not be a risk to the order so they had agreed to have not just vows to one another but to the order.

"This path you embark on joyful it can be, but be careful you must. Swear do you to love not only each other but the ideals of the order? To follow the will of the force?"

They agreed. Yoda gestured them forward. They knelt and he laid his hands in blessing on both of their heads.

"Then have the approval of the order you do."

He stepped back. Obi-Wan and Asajj faced Qui-Gon.

"Certain changes have been made. Today we celebrate the first of one of these changes. There has been no Jedi truer to the order than Obi-Wan Kenobi. He exemplifies what we stand for. Asajj Ventress is a master of strength and determination. She helped the Republic in its darkest hour. While everyone deserves happiness both of these two have especially earned it.

Obi-Wan Kenobi do you swear to honor your beloved, to stand by her before all but the will of the force itself?"

"I swear it. Asajj, you have always challenged me and called to me. Your strength is a strength to me and…for some reason my usual skill with words is failing me."

"Asajj Ventress, do you swear to honor your beloved, to stand by him before all but the will of the force itself?"

"I swear it. You saw me clearly, Obi-Wan, even when I hated you for it. You helped me back to the light because the light, and stubbornness, burn so brightly in you. My path is clear and with you I will walk it."

Qui-Gon joined their hands together- or rather he gestured for them to do it since he was a ghost. Asajj could feel his approval. She could feel the approval of the force. She could hear it through a voice she remembered well.

"_Be well my daughter." _

"_Yes master." _

"Let all who are present feel that the force is behind this bond- or look on the faces of the Jedi around you if you need clarification. The force has called and these two have answered. They are bound forever. May the force be with you. There is one last thing."

Typical weddings are sealed with a public kiss. Obi-Wan, being more private than Asajj, had argued with her about it. She had been adamant in including it.

"Obi-Wan this is one thing I cannot order you to do."

"No, Master," he said. Asajj could feel him gathering his courage.

"_Obi-Wan we are meant to help each other are we not?" _

"_Yes, why-"_

His thought was cut off by her lunging forward and kissing him.

"_Very funny darling." _

"_I thought you would appreciate some help dear Obi-Wan." _

Cheers filled the room. As they did Asajj felt Obi-Wan shaking off his embarrassment and reaching out to Qui-Gon and to Anakin. She felt them become amused. He turned to her with a mischievous look.

"You just showed yourself to be adaptable to changes in plan did you not my darling?"

Cautiously Asajj replied. "Sometimes changes in plan are called for."

"I'm glad you agree."

They were both masters, but Obi-Wan showed he still had an edge. She sensed something, but before she could move Obi-Wan swept her off her feet. He then went sprinting back up the pathway.

"_The reception Obi-Wan?" _

"_Changes in plan my darling. Anakin has R2 activating our ship as we speak." _

As Obi-Wan went zipping past everyone Asajj heard Anakin cheerily call out,

"Have fun!"

Asajj twisted in Obi-Wan's arms. She yelled out before the doors closed on the lift.

"Skywalker I'm going to get you for this!"

A month later Asajj woke up in the night on Rattatak. Her world was healing quickly now that it had an alliance with the Republic. The valuable mineral her world held was being responsibility extracted and exchanged for resources. _Thank the force for it. It is an alliance: both parties helping the other. Like myself and Obi-Wan. _

All was well but she felt something was different. She walked onto her balcony and looked around. She heard footsteps behind her.

"Something wrong?"

Obi-Wan leaned on the balcony wall and looked concernedly at her.

"I don't think so but something feels different."

Obi-Wan's blue eyes focused on her even more intently. Then he smiled and hugged her.

"You are like your world my darling. Both have healed from the past, and are bearing new light for the future."

His eyes were misty. Asajj processed his meaning and focused inward. She leaned against her husband and felt content.

"You have had a vital role in both my dear Obi-Wan."

She smiled mischievously.

"What is it?"

"I told Anakin I would get back at him. In time we both can- I know _who_ I am going to get to babysit and I know _you_ have leverageover him."

Obi-Wan laughed.

"Great minds think alike."

She laughed as the sun rose on a new day and a new beginning for them both.


End file.
